So my efforts paid off and unfortunately my husband was right. My mind and body tested me to see if I would keep on the path or veer off for the millionth time. I am happy to report that I stuck on the path and not only did I lose the .6 that I gained but I also sent 6.6 additional pounds with it. I was very pleased.

So far week 3 is going well. I’m getting my water in and eating fairly decent so I’m not going to jinx myself by being optimistic, I am going to say that I’m not stepping on the scale worried that any of my actions from this week would cause me harm. If it (the scale) decides to give me another test than so be it. I’m ready!

So the commitments, can we talk about those? I’ve blogged once per week like I promised…..the journal I handed it in the first week but didn’t fill it out last week. It’s not because what I ate was bad (my weight loss shows that) it’s just me being lazy. Speaking of lazy, what the heck was I thinking when I said I would do 50 crunches a day…..or more importantly, what the heck was I drinking? I don’t even like crunches….I did them twice so far since my commitment (I know, throw stones at me) and each time results in one if not more of my children thinking that I wanted to wrestle or in the case of my nine year old, she thought I was stuck because all she saw was me trying to get up but only making it half way and then doing a lot of muttering under my breath

I’ll try to do better with my commitments. I should have thought them out better!!!

Ok, before you read the title and think “there she screwed up again” let me just write my little piece!!

Well I’m glad that I wrote that I wasn’t noticing a big difference although I was drinking my water and my meals were good because guess what….there was no difference. Oh wait, yes there was…I was up 0.4 lbs. Now I know what you are thinking, .4 lbs isn’t bad and I agree with you…but to be up .4 lbs on week 1?????? Never in the history of my week 1s (and trust me I have had a lot of them) have I ever gained…..I think my lowest week 1 result if I remember was losing 6.6 lbs and I was pissed about it. Well not anymore. When I saw the number on the scale I felt like my heart sunk right to my feet. I worked hard, I ate well, and I have a lot of weight to lose, I should never have been even close to my starting weight.

So I accepted it, held back the tears, got in my car and drove home. My first instinct was “screw it” and thought about going for some take out. I hate those knee jerk reactions. Instead of turning right and heading into Bridgewater, I turned left and made my journey home. I’m not going to lie, I cried. I cried a lot. I pounded my fist and went through what could have happened. My food journal was reviewed and approved by Mary Ann that very night so although I knew it was solid, her stamp of approval proved it. I had gotten to the gym four times and each day I drank all my water. I didn’t walk in expecting big results but NOTHING????

So I get home and tell my husband. Clearly he can see I’m upset. Being the man of many words that he is, his response is “it’s a test”. A test???? Are you freakin’ kidding me? I don’t want a test, I want results. I went to bed mad at the world, mad at the scale, and now mad at my husband.

Like anything, anger passes. Once I was able to get over my anger and my thoughts of eating whatever I wanted, I realized what my husband meant. It is kind of like a test. A test to see if I am committed to this life long journey or when things don’t go my way and I don’t see the results I see, am I going to quit and self sabotage myself.

I am proud to say that I chose the road of greatness and am still eating well, drinking my water, and going to the gym. I’m still not sure why it happened, anxiety from returning to work maybe, but I’m just going to plug away and have faith that whenever the scale is ready to show me results, it will.

I can’t seem to get out of my own way this week. At first I thought maybe I was getting sick or that my age was catching up to me but I will finally admit what the problem is. My maternity leave is up in two weeks and then I go back to work. I can’t wait to get back to my co-workers and get back into the swing of a routine but boy I can’t picture how I am going to leave this brown eyed devil. The mere thought of it sends crocodile tears down my cheeks. My husband is a tough love kind of guy so as I’m wearing my heart out on my sleeve crying about how much I’m going to miss the little guy and being home when the girls get home from school, he gives me a quick look from the hockey game and says “you’ll adapt”. Thanks hun, love your support I will adapt but until then just call me Emotional Edna….

I did sign up for the loser. I was pretty non-committal about signing up until the last week when I decided to give it ago. I was not happy with my effort in the last loser and didn’t give it my all or support others like I normally do. This week has been great. I’m making slow changes in my eating habits and have been to the gym three times so far. I will get one more workout in tomorrow before weigh in. I can’t do anymore than 3-5 times a week at the gym. I’m involved in too much stuff that limits the days I can get there and I know once I go back to work, I’m going to feel guilty for getting home and then turning around and leaving again to go to the gym.

I don’t really notice a huge difference like I normally do but I did keep drinking my water between the challenge and this competition and I find getting your water in is what makes the big result on week 1. I have set a goal of 40 lbs so that is just over 3 lbs per week which for me is achievable. I have never lost more than 24 lbs in a loser competition so if I meet my goal it will be a big deal. I always finish the losers but the the last eight weeks are tough for me. I think I have blogged before that I am a 4 week type of person. I will give it my all and then get bored or in this case, if I don’t see the result I think I deserve, I punish myself by eating. Make sense? No not to me either but I continue to do it. In these competitions, I am focused and on plan for the first four-five weeks and then I will have a few off weeks and then get back on track and then fall of again.

Although we didn’t make three commitments I thought I would make three commitments here. I really enjoyed making those commitments and felt accomplished when I saw them through til the end. They are:

1. Blog at least once per week with weigh in results

2. Faithfully update my food journal and pass it in for review weekly

3. Do 50 crunches per day at home

There I’ve committed it here and now you can hold me accountable.

First weigh in is tomorrow, wish me luck!!