I received a comment on a post that desrves more than a simple reply.
Todd, your Mom is the type of person I have met in the Pump Room, that has brought a lump to my throat. They are inspiring with their “fight”, dignity and attitude. They are the ones that I try to emulate although I don’t think that I will ever make it to their level. At least I can try.
I am happy to hear that your son is going to get a chance to spend time with her this summer. Maybe she can show him the piles of powder on the North Van docks that they make Highlighter Pens from. ( Actually they are piles of sulphur, but a friend was adament that it was highlighter stuff. Ha!) Maybe she can share with him the majesty of the mountains and the tranquility of the sea. Maybe they can create a bond that they will share forever. I hope.
What you said is true. There is a strange responsibility you take on when you receive a terminal diagnosis. You have to be aware that those around you will want to help. Consequently, they expect that you are going to need their help, because your condition is so dire. You do and the help is appreciated beyond words. But, you can’t go out and try to be a superman or woman and do more than what is expected. People don’t respond to patients who don’t look sick. It just seems as though maybe you are pulling the wool over their eyes. Even though it takes you a day to recover. People want to feel like they are REALLY helping and as a result do extraordinary things. As the recipient you have to acknowledge that their help has assisted you in getting better. It has, so just be gracious and say thank you. You have to move on
I remember first getting the diagnosis that I may die long before I thought was my time. There was a calm that came over me. It was as though everything in the world had come in to crystal clear focus. I knew what was important and what was not. It was as though a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I immediately felt closer to those around me and had a spiritual calm. I called it the “gift”. I often said that I wish others could get it with out the diagnosis part. So, yes Todd there is an upside to all this. It comes from having an open heart, a will to fight the good fight (wherever it takes you ) and the ability to notice miracles when they happen and recognize guardian angels when they appear.
Take care, and I’ll be thinking about your Mom.