This chemo thing constantly amazes me. I think since the length of treatment is so long, you start to realize the challenges that arise outside of the disease and cure.
When you get sick, either cold, flu or cough, you know that there are a few days ahead that you would like to forget. You want the world to go away, or in some people’s cases wait on you hand and foot, and you don’t want to have to be available to anyone for anything; until you feel better. So what if you cut yourself off from the rest of the world for a few days? Who is really going to miss you or mind?
But, this is different. It goes on for months and all the while you just want it to end. You are the only one that can deal with it or do anything about it, so it sets you apart. You are all alone on this journey and no matter what anyone else says or does, it doesn’t make it any easier. There is a real mental battle that you have to fight in order to make sure you don’t alienate everyone. As hard as it is, you have to put a smile on your face and be polite. Others, who really do care, don’t want to hear your grumpy arse tell them to go away. It tends to put them off. Great wonder. A gracious sick person is much easier to take than a real bstd. You get more in the end. There will be more lifelines thrown your way.
You also have to keep involved in living. It is TOO easy to hibernate and wait until everything is back to normal. You have to keep involved or you risk losing touch. Remember, a lot can happen in eight months, Tom Cruise may get married again! Oprah could decide that she IS the Messiah. Facebook could be outed as the complete waste of time that it is. Anyway, I have felt better after working around the house, then collapsing in exhaustion, than when I have spent a day “taking care of myself”. (Note: Doctors may disagree) At least it makes me feel that I am still alive.
Who knew chemo would be such hard work? Har Har.