There is one thing that I have learned through all this. Namely, it is hard to live up to everyone’s expectations. The people that care for you want you to be well, not sick. As a result, they don’t deal well with the days that you look like hell, feel worse and just want the world to go away. They want you to be better, or at least show that you are better. They want things the way they used to be. Not easy.
I was the same way with my father. In his battle with cancer he lived the last year and a half of his life as a parapalegic. He was in constant pain, devoid of dignity and really wanted the world to go away. Nevertheless, I can remember wanting him to look happier. Fight harder. Be easier to be around. I only wish I knew what I know now. He was doing his best. If that wasn’t good enough for me, too bad.