I met with the cancer guru. I am going to die. Its not going to be pretty. My mistresses are going to find out about one another and they are going to tear me to shreds. Wait a minute… that must have been one of my dreams. I digress.

I am going to die, but according to the new doctor, it is not as immenent as may have been previously thought. While my options may be “limited” they haven’t been exhausted yet. In fact he was quite pleased that I had shown a strong “clinical response”. Namely that my blood work and everything else seemed to show that the chemo was working quite well thank you very much. The kicker is that my bone marrow is still packed with cancer cells. I asked if this was a normal occurance. No it was not normal. It was “infrequent, but not uncommon”. Huh?

“Infrequent, but not uncommon”. Kinda sounds like me. In fact I think it would make a great line for a super hero:

SFX(Sound of rushing wind) “Look its CHEMO MAN, he’s infrequent, but not uncommon!!!” SFX (Sound of women swooning)

I am doing it again. Back to the point. In order to get the message to the cancer cells that I don’t want them and they should just politely die, he is going to add Thalidomide to the mix. Yup, apparently the horror of the sixties, championed for myeloma treatment by people like the late Geraldine Ferraro, can give some chemo therapies a kick in the patootie. Who knew? The tragedy is that I will not be able to have any more children. I will never be able to realize my dream of giving birth. Just kidding. I don’t want the children I have. Kidding again. Sheesh.

I will be reunited with my french pharmacists. The ones who dispensed the last drug I was on. The ones who will once again start telling me about how, while on Thalidomide, I will not be able to donate blood products or seamen and that I cannot have unprotected sex with a women of child-bearing potential. If I do, I have to notify them immediately so that they can slap my wrist with a ruler. Mademoiselle, if I ever had sex with a young woman of child-bearing potential it would be in all the papers. If she got pregnant, look out world wide web! Moot point.

So, the long and the short of it is three more chemo cycles and evaluate after that. I can live with that. As if I have a choice.

S.K.

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