Bessie from Idaho writes: “Recently you mentioned that walking in bare feet was like walking on a bed of nails. Why did you keep walking?”
Well Bessie, it was because curling up in the fetal position and crying my eyes out just didn’t seem manly. Seriously, lets talk about pain. Pain is something your smart brain uses as a warning system that your stupid brain is doing something harmfull again. Smart Brain – “Hey moron! We are supposed to use a stick to roast marshmallows. Not our FINGERS.” Stupid Brain – “Whaaaaaaaat? We’re almost done.” See, a perfect feedback system. In the case of the bed of nails, my smart brain was going to give my stupid brain a cumupence, until it realized that it was just a case of the wiring being messed up. No harm, no foul. As a result the Smart Brain said – “Hey stupid, this is going to hurt but just keep walking.” Wherein the Stupid Brain replied – “Whaaaaaat?”
Twain from Timmins wrote – “Are you as sexy as you seem?”
Yup, I ain’t no mutt.
Bob in Oceanis wondered – “Are all your chemo drugs given with a needle? and How do you make yourself keep taking them?”
Stupid questions Bob. One chemo drug is given as an IV push or sub cue. The two, soon to be three others are all taken orally. One other drug I am on is an injection I take at home. There are 12 others that are taken orally either morning or night. How do you make yourself take something you hate? Well, you struggle. I do at least. Remember when you were a child and you were told you were old enough to take your own medicine? Remember how you would hesitate and feint until you finally downed the most vile tasting thing that you could ever conceive? Its like that. Your brain has a conversation, only this time it is in reverse. Stupid Brain – “Uhhh, I don’t think we should take that, remember what it did to us last time?” Smart Brain – “Remember!!! I was the one awake all night, while you slept!!!! Besides, its what we need to do.” That’s what it comes down to Bob. You do what you gotta do.
Sven in Trollhatten wants to know – “What’s the worst part of going through this process?”
Sven, Sven. There is nothing bad about this, it is all a growth experience. Weeellll, the worst part is having who you are and the rest of your life ripped away. There is usually no preparation period for cancer. Your doctor doesn’t come to you and say that next year you are going to need cancer treatment so get ready. It happens fast. In my case, even though I have been battling this for fifteen years, I was at a point where I was feeling fine and the doctors and me thought I was on top of it. It happened playing hockey with my buddies. I came off the ice and said to one of them that something was really wrong. Really wrong. Within the next six weeks my doctors had me in ICU cause they wanted me monitored around the clock. You go from having a life to fighting for it. There was a warning sign. A year ago a tumour appeared on my jaw that was irradiated. There is also a small one behind my right eye. While that did send up some red flags all other tests showed I was still in control. My radiation oncologist decided that the eye was not an issue. I told him that I was dissappointed. I had always wanted a parrot and if I was going to be bald and a patch over one eye, I thought it would be the perfect time. He smiled politely and escorted me out of his office.
On the plus side, I have lost more weight than I ever could have hoped for and most of my grey hair has dissappeared and not because I have lost my hair. Think of the marketing potetial in that.
Finally, Matt in Maine – “Are your going to die?”
“Yes. And so are you.”