I was such a great parent before I had kids.  I just broke one of my own parenting rules.   I bribed my six year old, offering him five dollars to take five mls of Tylenol to remedy his fever and cough. 

He asked for money up front.

I scrounged around the house for five dollars and handed him three loonies and eight quarters.

“I don’t take 25 cents,” he insisted.

“Take it or leave it,” I said.

Reluctantly he put the medicine dropper in his mouth and got a taste.

“Deal’s off!  This doesn’t taste anything like bubble gum,” he argued.

I warned him that if he took the medicine himself he’d get the money, but if I had to force it into him, and that I would if I had to, he wouldn’t get the money.

“All right,” he said.  “But if I throw some of it up, I’m keeping all the money.”

He forced it down and then went off to bed. 

At 4:00 a.m. I took his temperature, as he felt really warm.  We have one of those electric ear thermometers.  Three different tries gave me three different readings.  Each one was higher than the last. 

“I think we need a bit more medicine, Evan.  It’s still a bit high.”

“Ok,” he said sleepily.  “You can pay me in the morning.”

“My girlfriend dumped me,” is what my adorable six year old said while on our way to Church Boys League.

My heart tightened a bit. 

Let’s face it.  This wasn’t love.  He’ll probably have another dozen girlfriends before the end of the school year.  I’m not 100% sure if he even knows what a girlfriend is.  But I could tell that he knew being dumped was not a good thing.

I remember when my boyfriend Chris Richards dumped me in Grade 6.  At the time I was devastated.  I didn’t know if I would ever move on.  Of course I did, but I didn’t know that then.  In my own little world this was huge.  I remember my dad came home from work and opened my bedroom door that I shared with my sister.  I was crying on my top bunk. 

“Hey Teen,” dad said.  He did then, and still does call me Teen.  “I think we’ll order pizza tonight.” 

And that ended my mourning period. 

I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to do something like that for Evan.  Maybe he thinks that when you lose a tooth, the tooth fairy brings you cash, so when you lose a girlfriend you get a dog or something.

Evan and I had a great chat on our way to CBL.  He said she broke up with him, and then went back out with him and broke up with him again.

“Yeah, that’s really not going to change when you get older,” I told him.  I asked him if he was sad.

“No, I have a new girlfriend now,” he said.

He then went on to explain that his old girlfriend is mad at his new girlfriend.

“Yeah, that too is not going to change.”

I have had the most awful day at work.  I was a superhero.  Putting out fires, solving problems and trying to save the day. You know what it’s like.  I went to the Superstore after work to do another super-hero task:  to find something well- balanced and easy for dinner.  Dinner:  the never-ending battle, kind of like laundry. 

 As I roam aimlessly through the aisles to get inspired, the day’s events play out in my head.

 After receiving enormous applause from our readers from the first issue of our Captain Lighthouse comic book, we decided to do it again.  Last year we handed thousands of comic books to kids both young and old at parades across Lunenburg County.  It was very heartwarming to see hundreds of kids reading the adventures of the South Shore’s first superhero, who spreads the message of how important it is to read, to not spread gossip or rumours and that crime does not pay.

 When we put the comic book out this year we received a call from an unhappy reader who felt we were promoting violence.  She then went on to call our clients to tell them that they too were promoting violence.  One client I spoke to said that the lady phoned and said the comic book was about someone who went into the Bridgewater Mall and started a mass murder of people.  No one was injured in this comic book.  The Bridgewater Mall was not even mentioned.  Obviously the message of not spreading rumours and gossip was not received.

 Being the mom of two young boys it is my responsibility to use good judgment in making sure that they read only what is appropriate for them to read.  I would not let them read some of the stories that are in our papers, the Bridgewater Bulletin or Progress Enterprise or on the internet.  The coverage of Karissa, for example, would not be appropriate for them, but the Newspapers In Education and our Young Readers section is great for most ages.  I was mad.  How can someone turn something that was so well-intentioned into something wrong? 

 I made it to the line-up to pay.  The mom in front of me had two boys around the same age as mine.  Her youngest was throwing a tantrum and wanting a box of Smarties.  Just give them to him, I thought as I wondered if I had enough time to run to the pharmacy for some Advil.  It was too busy to risk it.  So I waited and noticed that her oldest son was standing silently and in awe reading the Captain Lighthouse comic that he pulled from the Bulletin in her cart.  I watched as he read.  I smiled.  His mom was paying while he continued to read; his brother continued to cry.  She’s a far better mother than I am.  I would have caved.

“Mom,” the boy tugged on her jacket.  “Look, it says Bridgewater in this comic book,” he said and pointed to the word while smiling proudly.

I start to feel better as I realize this little kid is why we do these comics.  It’s not for the money, especially since we don’t make any on it, and it’s not for our average reader.   But it’s for this kid.  This kid with one front tooth missing who, for the first time, has read the name of his hometown in a comic book. 

 I came home to boys running to greet me.  Evan had a golf shirt on as he does every day.  Colin had on his pyjamas with a chocolate pudding stain on his face and a cape.  He almost always wears a cape. 

 “What did you do today, Colin?” I asked.

“I fighted bad guys,” he said with excitement. 

Yeah, so did I.

This Valentines Day, I got a cotton ball stuffed-heart from Evan and a tin can with a plant inside from Colin.  I love them both!  I spent about an hour leafing through all the cards at Kinburn Pharmacy trying to pick out the perfect one for my husband.  Then I had the kids do the same.  So it did sting a bit not to get a thing from David for Valentines Day.  That is unless you count the slap on my bum I got in the kitchen as an endearing sign of love.  I don’t.

Honestly, I consider cards to be a waste of money and when I occasionally get flowers, I secretly wished I had received a rose bush instead so I could enjoy them longer than a week.  He can’t win.  But it’s not the $3.99 for the card that matters, it’s the thought that I really do appreciate most.  I guess it’s true; if you like romance, don’t get married.  My husband says the same thing about sex.

It isn’t entirely his fault.  I spent Valentines Day evening at the Holiday Inn as I had a class early the next day at the World Trade Centre.  Since my course started I have spent a lot of time there.  I spent the evening in my jammies finishing up my accounting assignment, all the while thinking of the Valentines Day surprise I would walk into the next day when I got home.

I’m sure if I were home when he opened my card he would have stepped out for a second to race to the drug store before it closed, to get one of the 4 cards still on the shelf.  You know the one:  To my beloved Wife on Valentines Day….

But am I wallowing in self-pity?  Not on your life.  My birthday was a week after Valentines Day and I hit pay dirt.  It’s amazing what a little guilt will get you!