So here’s the thing. I gained 10 pounds over the holidays. 10. As in, I weigh 10 pounds more now than what I did before the holidays. You know how some people say they gained 10 pounds when really they gained, like 7 or so? Yeah, not me. It’s a solid 10.
Some people in the office have said, “So what, you could use a few pounds”, to which my response is this: No one, unless very ill or training to become a sumo wrestler, can easily get away with gaining 8% off their body mass and feel good about it, I don’t care how big or small they are.
Furthermore, if I gained the weight in places that enabled me to properly fill out Beyonce Jeans, I might not complain so much.
Unfortunately where I gain weight, my 5 year old makes statement like, “Mommy, your belly wooks big and old.” But the good news is, I have finally answered that age old question, “When is it no longer appropriate to change in the presence of my young son?” The answer, my friends, is “yesterday”.
Others have said, “Oh, it must be just water weight,” to which my response is this: Oh, no Dear, water has absolutely nothing to do with this weight. Nope, it’s chocolate, chip and dip and turkey dressing weight. If I was going to gain weight over Christmas, I was going to make it count. No joke, I popped chocolate truffles in my mouth like they were peanuts, so these 10 pounds don’t come as a huge shocker. But I will say, the shock came with the realization that I leave for Cuba in 60 days, and call me vain, but I really don’t want to lose my zebra print thong anywhere that a proctologist might have to go searching. Plus, I’m going to an all you can eat and drink resort and I plan to be doing copious amounts of both.
So I have made a resolution. Much like the resolution I made last year and the 10 years prior to that and didn’t keep, but a girls gotta have a goal, right?? I made a resolution to lose this weight and not like I did 15 years ago, by starving myself and taking up smoking, but in a healthy way, one that will enable me to be alive and able to dance at my sons wedding when he’s a plastic surgeon, signed a pre-nup and has my compete concent.
I have a membership at HEAT Studio. I haven’t gone in 3 months, but I didn’t cancel my membership. Score 2 points for Tina. I am determined to go to 4 classes a week. So, if any members read this (Tanya Bolivar), I expect you to kick my ass if I don’t keep this resolution (and I know you will, Tanya).
But exercise is merely half my battle. I LOVE food! Love it. Love. It. I have lived far too long being able to eat the food I love and not feeling much repercussions from it. I guess this is what some call “aging”.
Since some readers seem to be responding well to my recipes, I thought it would be appropriate to include some nice, healthy recipes that are high in fiber. Fiber is good for me when I’m trying to lose weight, just keepin’ it real.
I encourage you I beg you to leave your diet and/or high fiber recipes to help a sister out. And I thank you for your encouraging words but please refrain from taunting me with recipes of chocolate pate. I welcome you to share your resolutions with us. That is, except if your resolution is to eat a big bag of Humpty Dumpty chips every day. In that case we cannot be friends. And for everyone who leaves a comment, recipe or resolution, you’ll have a shot to win 10 passes to HEAT Studio where you can work off all the crap you ate and drank. But don’t thank me yet. I call her drill sergeant Mary Ann for a reason. I will draw randomly this Friday, haven’t decided if they will all go to one person of if I’ll divide them up. And you’ll have them just in time for Saturday mornings ass-kicker class, thou I don’t think it’s called that, I’m certain it should be!
I often buy a salmon steak, grill it in the oven simply by wrapping it in parchment paper and have it in the fridge for salads and these tacos.
Place a whole wheat wrap on a cookie sheet, spread a layer of chick pea spread on top (put a can of chick peas drained and rinsed, half cup of water, garlic, lemon juice, salt and a ¼ roasted red pepper in a food processor, it’s so simple and so good) a handful of greens, a diced roasted red pepper (I always have a jar in my fridge), sliced brie (If you use 1/8th a small wheel it’s 7 grams of fat. Do not eat an entire wheel of Brie like a cookie on the way home from the grocery store, thou tempting as it may be), broil in the oven until the cheese is melted, fold and eat.
Split Pea and Ham Soup.
I had a huge ham bone from my Christmas brunch and since I don’t have a dog, I thought I might as well make a soup.
Soak yellow split peas over night. The next day throw them in a slow cooker after they’ve been rinsed with a diced Spanish onion, 3 diced carrots, 3 whole cloves, 2 bay leaves and the ham bone that has most of the fat removed. Cover with water and let it cook for 8 hours. Season with pepper but you won’t need much salt because of the ham. When you remove the bone the meat will just slid off. Shred the meat with a fork, remove the bay leaf and enjoy!
A big bowl of home made baked beans, a loaf of brown bread and a couple of chopped up wieners is how I really would love to enjoy this recipe, but alas, that is why I’m in this 10 pound mess in the first place, so eating a cup as a side dish with a pork chop and a side of swiss chard would be the perfect dieting meal.
And just so you know, I have tried all kind of beans, red kidney, yellow and navy beans, and I will say that my favourite is the navy bean. That’s just my opinion. Kidney beans are fine, but I find them too “beany”. And one other bean making tip: When initially boiling the beans before adding the flavor, cook them until completely tender. Even though you’ll be baking them for a few more hours in the oven, they won’t get anymore tender. I have ruined many batched by not cooking them long enough.
Soak a bag of beans over night. Rinse and boil on the stove for one hour on medium with 2 quarts of cold water, 2 yellow onions sliced in eights, 8 peppercorns and 2 bay leaves, drain, but keep the liquid.
In the meantime, in a small pot add 1/4 cup maple syrup, 1/4 cup kechup, 1/4 light brown sugar, Tbsp fresh graded ginger, Tbsp dijon, tsp salt and pepper, and one cup of the cooking liquid, simmer for 5 minutes.
Put beans, onions and bay leaf in a dutch oven, topped with diced raw bacon and the sauce. Cover and bake in a 225 degree oven for 6 hours, adding some of the reserved liquid as needed. Remove the bay leaf and serve!
All the best to you in keeping your resolutions in 2009.