I started working at Lighthouse Publishing 7 years ago as an advertising consultant. I had lots of enthusiasm and even more to learn. I honestly feel like I’m a staff member to many of the businesses that I’ve helped with advertising campaigns. I’ve gotten to know a lot of owners and managers both personally and professionally, and a lot have become friends. One such business is Lahave Furnishings. For 7 years, I did at a minimum of one ad a week and for several of those years, 2 ads a week and they often changed weekly. We’ll say 500 different interactions for good measure. If you think about it, I talked to them more than I do some of my close friends, and some family members.

I’ve become friends with Jim and Greg, the two people I work with on advertising. In those 500 different interactions, I can honestly count only a couple of times that things didn’t go perfectly smooth. Maybe Jim can count a few more, but I’d doubt that.

We had fun. Jim barely ever said no to me. That’s a good client. They were so agreeable, not because of my charm (thou I am pretty charming), but because they trusted me. We did some fearless campaigns, like when I convinced them to do an ugly sofa contest that garnered them 18 very ugly sofa entries and 4000 votes. I remember walking into their showroom where I’d find mattresses stocked to the ceiling. We’d run a couple funky ads and the next few weeks they’d be sold out.

And now after 52 years in business on the South Shore and 7 years of being my client, they will soon shut their doors. Partially due to business slowing down and partially due to the owner retiring.

Even David asked me what I was going to do without them. And I wasn’t sure how to answer. Of course life will go on. I’ll e-mail them. Maybe we’ll chat at the grocery store. But I will miss their friendship. Lets face it, work keeps you connected to certain people. I remember in my past life working at a pub. I had great friendships with some of those that I worked with. Now I barely see some of them. But when we do get together, we drink, and eat, and cry, and laugh and I remember once waking up in the morning at home with one of Sarah Patrick’s shoes.

So to commemorate Lahave Furnishings and to thank Jim and Greg for 7 years of friendship, I bought this fabulous chair, and i use the term bought loosely as they pretty much gave it to me. It seems like a perfect farewell to me. I shall think of them as I sit on it by the fire and sip merlot, and I hope they will work for another one of my clients and look after their advertising, where they will once again, never say no to me.

Thank you all for the wonderful notes of gratitude! And the winner of the Seuss lunch-box notes by random draw is…#3, Stacey.

And now, for what I’m grateful for…cleaning up my kids puke. There are some things that sucks about being a parent. One of those things is watching your child in any kind of pain or discomfort.

Last week I took my boys to South Shore Regional Hospital to have dental work done because they brush their teeth like this:

colin-brushing2

We tried and failed on 3 separate occasions to have their teeth filled in the dentist’s chair. It didn’t go over well. And finally Dr. Dakin said, “Lady, you’re wasting my time.” No, he really didn’t say that but I’m sure he felt like it. We all decided it would be best for everyone to have them put to sleep and get their teeth done. Their appointments were right after each other.

And please, lets not pass judgement. I can justify almost anything. But there’s just something horrible about watching your child walk away holding the hand of a nurse, in a hospital shirt 3 sizes too big while feeling scared and vulnerable. Top that off with going in the recovery room and seeing them hooked up to an IV and walking toward them as their lip quivers. I hugged Evan as he sobbed, partly due to being scared, but I’m sure mostly because he was relieved it was over. Then I relived the same experience with Colin.

Sitting there in the waiting room as both of my sons were unconscious, I thought for a moment about parents who have to do this because their children are sick with a life threatening illness. My friend, Nicole, has a daughter who had a brain tumor and then had to go for numerous treatments and I can’t even imagine what some of her waits felt like. I was feeling only one-one millionth of her anxiety. I always knew Nicole was brave and I admire her strength, but today I officially became the president of her fan club.

As I was robbing Colin’s back trying to get him to rest, I wrote this blog in my head, mostly because a few things became clear to me and I wanted to share them with you, not that this wee little blog is going the change anything except make me feel a little better for getting it out.

First of all, all the nursing staff was wonderfully terrifically stupendous! Well, all but one, but thats a pretty good percentage. Dr. Dakin did a terrific job and only a few hours later the kids were on the hockey rink. We’re lucky to have such a great hospital like South Shore Regional. But can someone explain something to me: How on earth is someone supposed to rest and recover in the RECOVERY room with all that racket?? I mean, I’ve seen it quieter in the PVEC cafeteria at lunchtime. I know people have to communicate with patience and families, but a lot of it was unnecessary like, “When is you lunch hour? What are you doing this weekend? Did you see Lost?” I wouldn’t have minded as much if I had to endure drama similar to what I watch on Grey’s Anatomy, like a juicy affair or friendship tainted by scandal. I wanted to yell, “Please, be quiet, or find me Mc. Steamy!”

When we got home the two boys were comparing their dental surgery experiences like war stories. Colin got over the initial devastation that he had a silver tooth after I showed him a picture of Flavor Flav on the Internet and then he spent the rest of the day walking around the house rapping and grabbing the crotch of his pants. Evan was excited that he’d get a visit from the tooth fairy but upset that he didn’t get a silver tooth like Colin.

Then both kids puked. One at the hospital and one at home. And the nice nurse scolded me for cleaning it up saying that cleaning up puke is what they do.

Well, so do I. When they were newborns and spit up at the end of every feeding, then during late nights with the flu, and likely at 17 when they mix booze from our liquor cabinet before the school dance and discover for the first time that mixing Peach Schnapps and Rum and chasing it with blue Cool Aid is no way to have a good time. A-hum Not that I did that. I digress.

Because that’s what we do as parents. We celebrate when they score. We cry when their heart is broken. We get scared when they break curfew. And when they get sick, we clean up their puke.

I just had an a-ha moment and I’m so excited about it, and I thought I just had to share it with you, and yes, it involves giving you a chance to win something fun because that is how I roll.

This weekend I walked in the door after exercise class at HEAT, I perked a coffee and threw in a dozen croissants in the oven to bake for breakfast, because you know, I just worked my ass off, so I might as well have a croissant to cancel it out. I walked around the house picking up the kids stuff and I smelled something burning. I thought it couldn’t be the croissant because I just put them in, so I continued to do what I was doing, until the smoke detector went off. I went to the kitchen and the oven mitt that I had used to put the baking sheet in the oven was on fire on the floor. It must have touched the element and it turned into an ember and then a flame. I picked it up and threw it in the sink, but not before it burned a 4-inch square in my once beautiful hard wood floor. I was pissed! How could I be so stupid! Now look at my floor. I have people coming for dinner tonight. Poor me, poor me.

I called David up from the basement and looked at him nervously expecting him to show his disapproval. He smiled and said quietly, “It’s okay Tina, It’s a floor, it can be fixed.”
And I smiled back and chuckled, because, you know, as usual, he was right. He is the coolest man in the entire world, and I am very lucky because had he done the same thing, I might have filed for divorce.

He later went to the hardware store and got a scrapper and scrapped off the burn stain and while it isn’t back to normal completely, it certainly isn’t as offensive as it was as soon as it happened.

And why is this an aha moment? I’m getting there.

Have you ever read the book ‘The Secret’? It’s premise is like attracts like. If you are dramatic, you attract drama. If you are ungrateful, you will not have anything to be grateful for. If you act like a shit, you’ll start to smell, that one I made up. I probably could have really flipped out over the floor and focused only on that burn instead of my friends joining us for diner, but instead I was so darn happy that I didn’t set my house on fire and thought, this is pretty insignificant. And now I will be more careful when putting croissants in the oven. Notice I didn’t say I would never bake croissants again.

And then, later in the week, the most strange/humorous/sad thing happened. I’m not going to discuss the details because when you write something on the Internet you are basically asking for people to react and you can’t very well expect everything to be positive. In fact I have had negative reactions to some of my posts, and I like to think that I have handled it with class. Not all can say that. Anyway, back to my point, it cemented my belief that we bring to us what we put out there, and I’m not sure what I’ve done right, but my God, I am one lucky broad.

Now for the giveaway: I’m giving away my favorite little product that costs less than $10 and I believe that they put a bright little smile on my boys face when they need it most: when they’re at school eating their lunch and missing their mom. You’re right, they’re not even thinking about me. So maybe it puts a smile on my face because I’ve given them a reason to think of me. They’re ‘Stuck on Seuss Quotes’.

Everyone loves Dr. Seuss.

I stick them on their sandwich or on their recess. This quote says, “When you get mixed up or hung up or blue, remember there’s someone who’s pulling for you.” Tonight I put it on Evans ham sandwich for tomorrows lunch because he went to bed feeling a little sad. Once I put one on the computer screen of a co-worker after her husband died. I’m not sure it make her feel better, but I’m certain it made her smile.

I love them so much that I bought another package and I want you to win them. Yes you. Because there’s many a Who, but there’s only one you. Sorry, that was another Seuss quote.

Because I believe like attracts like, tell me why you’re grateful today. What makes you so lucky? I’ll draw from those that comment. And if you don’t win, at least you were reminded of something that all too often, we forget.

(By the way, I got them from Lawtons Drug store in Bridgewater.)

Today, I wept like a baby as Barack Obama was inaugurated as the President of the United States. And later I laughed my fool ass off as my boyfriend, Jon Stewart, rip it to shreds. I love you Jon.

If anyone questions the significance of this to us as Canadians, you should know that when I asked my seven year old son, Evan, what it means that Barak Obama is now the President of the US, he said, “It means anyone can do anything.” And I couldn’t think of a better answer.

Have you ever had a near accident, where you know you’re gonna hit something and there’s absolutely nothing you can do to avoid it but just plow ahead, close your eyes and hope it doesn’t hurt? Well that happened to me. Kinda sorta.

Colin, Evan and I were going through a checkout in a retail store. Colin and Evan were at the front of the cart and I was pushing it from behind. As we approached the checkout I could see that the clerk was missing a leg. Colin watched this very capably person with great concern and confusion. I watched Colin hoping that his eyes would meet my glare and prayed that the good Lord would give me the universal sign for “Colin, please don’t say what I know you’re going to say”. He didn’t look at me and there was absolutely nothing I could do to prevent what was coming but hope it wouldn’t hurt.

“What happened to your weg?” Colin asked very a-matter-of-fact.

At that point I closed my eyes and exhaled. What was I to do? I mean, I couldn’t very well scold him for asking. He was curious, and maybe the clerk appreciated being asked instead of having people say nothing.

And very happily the clerk responded, “I lost it,” as if he’s said it to a million kids, and I’m sure he had.

And THEN, Colin said “Oh my God”, and for a second I thought that it couldn’t possibly get any worse, but my delightful boy without a filter proved me wrong.

“Did it hurt”, he asked, but if you knew my son you’d know that he can’t pronounce his r’s and it came out “hoit”.

The clerk and I exchanged a smiled and I took my receipt and left the store like that lady in the Ikea commercial, who thought there was a mistake in her bill but it was really just a sale.

I knew I should address this but I had to do it ever so gingerly. This was the conversation on the drive home.

Me- “ Colin, that boy in the store, it may have hurt his feeling, you asking about his leg.”

Colin- “Why?”

Me- “Well, maybe it makes him sad. Plus, he’s exactly like you, he just has one leg and you have 2. That’s it, no different.

Colin- “Well, I bet I can won fast-a.” Which is Colin- speak for ‘run faster’.

I knew I had to do something bold. Some might disagree with my tactics, and that is perfectly fine. See, that is one of the disadvantages of not having to take a test before becoming a parent. If there’s no standard formula, I make it up as I go.

Me- “That may be true, Colin, but he can say his r’s and you have a bit of trouble with them. You see, Colin, we all struggle with something.”

Colin- “Oh, wike, you can’t pway Guitah Hewo?”

Take one for the team Tina. Just let it go.

Me- “Yes Colin, like I can’t play Guitar Hero.”

I read this statistic that on average parents spend 20 minutes of quality time a day with their kids. I’m not sure that I believe that statistic, but I’m not sure that I’m not just in denial either.

So I’ve decided that I would get involved in something the kids love to do. This revelation came from feeling like I am slowly losing my kids to the Wii, and if they made a game called Wii-Mom, where you’d hold out your little paddle sticks and get a virtual hug, they really wouldn’t need me at all, especially if the Wii Mom could reach the paddle into her virtual pocket and pull out cash. Then, I might love a Wii Mom too. (You do realize that if the Wii tech people read this blog they would without question start inventing this game. Their loss).

So for Colin I’ve decided that he and I could create art together. Both Colin and I love to create things but I hate the term crafty. I hate it because I feel like I should be wearing a jean vest and a matching bag and say “Y’all” a lot. I’ve taken painting lessons, belong to a knitting group and even tried and failed at hooking (rug hooking, the other kind, no doubt I would excel).

Over Christmas I was digging through a drawer looking for that hook thing that holds the wreath on the door, when I stumbled upon some of my old paints.

I took the cover off the tube of cobalt blue and the feeling took me back to my previous life when I painted. You know, life before children, when you had countless hours to do nothing but shop, shave your legs and watch pointless TV. As soon as I had the boys I stopped all that. I could pass for a French woman.

I wasn’t ever any good. Nothing, besides having a hobby, would ever come of my painting. I have a few paintings that I had framed and are hung in my house, although they’re in the upstairs hallway where no one, God willing, will ever see them. They’re mostly to cover up dents. But for you, all my virtual friends, here is one.

I never could do hands and feet and this is why I’ve plunked them in sand. So there. Problem solved. This was done in 2000, when I was Tina Rafuse. And I remember worrying about taking David’s last name, and being concerned that some of my priceless paintings were in my old name.

I’ve given a few as gifts, and even after 10 years, Nadia has my sunflowers hung in her penthouse apartment. Thou I’m not convinced she doesn’t dig it out of the closet after I ring her from the lobby.

I see a lot of myself in Colin. He loves to paint and colour, and makes a mess and instead of fighting it, I bought him and myself matching easels for Christmas.

Here we are painting together. My first painting lesson to him was to pick a subject you can relate to. He chose his monster truck.

I chose my bottle of Orvieto. I figure it will be gone very soon and I wanted to commentate it. FYI- Painting is NOTHING like riding a bike. As you can see I got my shadow on the glass wrong.

But we had fun, and Colin is a great little artist.
He certainly has the wardrobe down and that angry “the world is against me” look.

Evan has begged me for over 2 years to take guitar, because he wants to one day become a member of the Jonas Brothers, and I have no doubt that he will.

He’s taken piano lessons since he was 5, and now, I think it’s time that I gave in to guitar. I think he’s proven that he really wants to learn.

We just started lessons together from a man in Lunenburg named Bruce Jollymore. And aside for the fact that I had to cut my nails, I think this will work out just fine. After our first lesson, I explained to Evan that, ‘not all Mommies would cut their nails to take guitar lessons with their son’. Evan handed me a pink pick from his pick collection and told me that I still look like a girl.

Thanks everyone for all the wonderful recipes, tips and your encouragement!

The winner of the 10 passes to HEAT is DA_NA_NA_NA- Jen

Jen Says:
January 5th, 2009 at 3:24 am edit
I have a Cheesy Chili Soup Recipe I make a lot, especially this time of year. Drop the cheese…which I did yesterday…and you should have a fairly fiber filled, bowl of goodness…

1 can 28 oz diced tomatoes
1 can 19 oz. drained, rinsed kidney beans
1 can 10 oz chicken broth
1 onion chopped
2 stalks of celery chopped
2 carrots, chopped
2 tsp chili powder (optional)
1 cup of shredded cheddar (optional)

Bring all ingredients except cheese to a boil. reduce heat to low. Simmer 25 minutes, or until veggies are tender. Stir in 1/3 of the cheese. Ladle into bowls. Sprinkle with remaining cheese.

I double this recipe. Good for our family of 5.

Good luck!

Now, just so you know, this is not the Jen that I often write about. This is an entirely new Jen, someone I don’t know but who has been a reader of mine for quite some time, back when I was writing phrases like “Colin ran. Colin ran fast. Run Colin run!” So I have to say, I am delighted that she won, and I hope to meet her one day, maybe at HEAT, when I’m sweating and cursing and she’ll say, “Geeze I had no idea that Tina girl was so scary lookin!”

And to the first Alicia who commented, and left the recipe for the onion rings, I tried them. They were really good. They weren’t A&W, but not bad at all.

Thanks everyone! 7 pounds to go.

So here’s the thing. I gained 10 pounds over the holidays. 10. As in, I weigh 10 pounds more now than what I did before the holidays. You know how some people say they gained 10 pounds when really they gained, like 7 or so? Yeah, not me. It’s a solid 10.

Some people in the office have said, “So what, you could use a few pounds”, to which my response is this: No one, unless very ill or training to become a sumo wrestler, can easily get away with gaining 8% off their body mass and feel good about it, I don’t care how big or small they are.

Furthermore, if I gained the weight in places that enabled me to properly fill out Beyonce Jeans, I might not complain so much.

Unfortunately where I gain weight, my 5 year old makes statement like, “Mommy, your belly wooks big and old.” But the good news is, I have finally answered that age old question, “When is it no longer appropriate to change in the presence of my young son?” The answer, my friends, is “yesterday”.

Others have said, “Oh, it must be just water weight,” to which my response is this: Oh, no Dear, water has absolutely nothing to do with this weight. Nope, it’s chocolate, chip and dip and turkey dressing weight. If I was going to gain weight over Christmas, I was going to make it count. No joke, I popped chocolate truffles in my mouth like they were peanuts, so these 10 pounds don’t come as a huge shocker. But I will say, the shock came with the realization that I leave for Cuba in 60 days, and call me vain, but I really don’t want to lose my zebra print thong anywhere that a proctologist might have to go searching. Plus, I’m going to an all you can eat and drink resort and I plan to be doing copious amounts of both.

So I have made a resolution. Much like the resolution I made last year and the 10 years prior to that and didn’t keep, but a girls gotta have a goal, right?? I made a resolution to lose this weight and not like I did 15 years ago, by starving myself and taking up smoking, but in a healthy way, one that will enable me to be alive and able to dance at my sons wedding when he’s a plastic surgeon, signed a pre-nup and has my compete concent.

I have a membership at HEAT Studio. I haven’t gone in 3 months, but I didn’t cancel my membership. Score 2 points for Tina. I am determined to go to 4 classes a week. So, if any members read this (Tanya Bolivar), I expect you to kick my ass if I don’t keep this resolution (and I know you will, Tanya).

But exercise is merely half my battle. I LOVE food! Love it. Love. It. I have lived far too long being able to eat the food I love and not feeling much repercussions from it. I guess this is what some call “aging”.

Since some readers seem to be responding well to my recipes, I thought it would be appropriate to include some nice, healthy recipes that are high in fiber. Fiber is good for me when I’m trying to lose weight, just keepin’ it real.

I encourage you I beg you to leave your diet and/or high fiber recipes to help a sister out. And I thank you for your encouraging words but please refrain from taunting me with recipes of chocolate pate. I welcome you to share your resolutions with us. That is, except if your resolution is to eat a big bag of Humpty Dumpty chips every day. In that case we cannot be friends. And for everyone who leaves a comment, recipe or resolution, you’ll have a shot to win 10 passes to HEAT Studio where you can work off all the crap you ate and drank. But don’t thank me yet. I call her drill sergeant Mary Ann for a reason. I will draw randomly this Friday, haven’t decided if they will all go to one person of if I’ll divide them up. And you’ll have them just in time for Saturday mornings ass-kicker class, thou I don’t think it’s called that, I’m certain it should be!

Salmon Taco

I often buy a salmon steak, grill it in the oven simply by wrapping it in parchment paper and have it in the fridge for salads and these tacos.

Place a whole wheat wrap on a cookie sheet, spread a layer of chick pea spread on top (put a can of chick peas drained and rinsed, half cup of water, garlic, lemon juice, salt and a ¼ roasted red pepper in a food processor, it’s so simple and so good) a handful of greens, a diced roasted red pepper (I always have a jar in my fridge), sliced brie (If you use 1/8th a small wheel it’s 7 grams of fat. Do not eat an entire wheel of Brie like a cookie on the way home from the grocery store, thou tempting as it may be), broil in the oven until the cheese is melted, fold and eat.

Split Pea and Ham Soup.

I had a huge ham bone from my Christmas brunch and since I don’t have a dog, I thought I might as well make a soup.

Soak yellow split peas over night. The next day throw them in a slow cooker after they’ve been rinsed with a diced Spanish onion, 3 diced carrots, 3 whole cloves, 2 bay leaves and the ham bone that has most of the fat removed. Cover with water and let it cook for 8 hours. Season with pepper but you won’t need much salt because of the ham. When you remove the bone the meat will just slid off. Shred the meat with a fork, remove the bay leaf and enjoy!

Brown Beans.

A big bowl of home made baked beans, a loaf of brown bread and a couple of chopped up wieners is how I really would love to enjoy this recipe, but alas, that is why I’m in this 10 pound mess in the first place, so eating a cup as a side dish with a pork chop and a side of swiss chard would be the perfect dieting meal.

And just so you know, I have tried all kind of beans, red kidney, yellow and navy beans, and I will say that my favourite is the navy bean. That’s just my opinion. Kidney beans are fine, but I find them too “beany”. And one other bean making tip: When initially boiling the beans before adding the flavor, cook them until completely tender. Even though you’ll be baking them for a few more hours in the oven, they won’t get anymore tender. I have ruined many batched by not cooking them long enough.

Soak a bag of beans over night. Rinse and boil on the stove for one hour on medium with 2 quarts of cold water, 2 yellow onions sliced in eights, 8 peppercorns and 2 bay leaves, drain, but keep the liquid.

In the meantime, in a small pot add 1/4 cup maple syrup, 1/4 cup kechup, 1/4 light brown sugar, Tbsp fresh graded ginger, Tbsp dijon, tsp salt and pepper, and one cup of the cooking liquid, simmer for 5 minutes.

Put beans, onions and bay leaf in a dutch oven, topped with diced raw bacon and the sauce. Cover and bake in a 225 degree oven for 6 hours, adding some of the reserved liquid as needed. Remove the bay leaf and serve!

All the best to you in keeping your resolutions in 2009.

This Christmas Holiday, when I was opening gifts and enjoying way too much food, a local family was suffering unimaginable pain. I’m certainly not going to blog about the details. This is not my story to tell. But a tragic and unfortunate accident resulted in the death of a friend of my mothers, who was also a friend to so many others. I didn’t know this woman, but my mother tells me she was amazing and loved by her family and dozens of other children that she cared for.

I’ve thought of little else since my mother told me about this. And I thought I wanted to write about how grateful I feel for all the blessings I have. That all this “stuff” that we received, the Lego pieces that I keep stepping on, all of these things that I felt so panicked to buy for my children and still haven’t paid for, they all mean nothing if you don’t have your family.