This Friday, I’m leaving on a jet-plane and heading to warm and sunny Cuba with 6 other gals. While everyone might think that I’m thrilled about this, I’m really very anxious about leaving my kids and my husband for 7 days and if I could get a full refund, I might back out of the trip. Or at least that is the story that I’m telling David. But truthfully, I plan on being intoxicated the entire 7 days so that I won’t hyperventilate because I miss them so badly.

But before I start to pack, I have a whole lot of work to do. Let’s just say it’s gonna take more than a Bic to get this body beach ready.

I decided that I need to get myself ready for this trip, which called for a trip to the drug store. For me, walking into Shoppers Drug Mart is like the gates of heaven open up as a Baptist Choir sings Hallelujah. AND they’re expanding. It’s as if they’re making Heaven better. Can you imagine?

Anyway, I grabbed my Visa and my Shoppers Optimum Points card and off I went to make myself right perdy like for Cuba. I thought I’d share my favorite products from Heaven the drug store because for me, there is nothing better than reading an endorsement for a great product, and even better than that, I’ll be giving away one of my finds to one of you!

1- I needed to give myself highlights. Now understand that I love going to the hairstylist for color and I know that they do a way better job than I do myself, but the thing is, it’s not the fact that with home color I spent $14 as appose to $60 that appeals to me. It’s the fact that I can color my hair while the kids are in bed and I’m watching Grey’s Anatomy. It’s not about the money, more about the time. Should I give myself the time it take to have my hair done professionally? Sure. Have I ruined shirts in doing it myself, probably costing me more than my savings? Absolutely. Has Sylvia Ali from the Finish Line had to fix some of my home color disasters? You betcha.. And at some point, when the kids don’t want me around, I hope to go back to a pro. In the meantime I do it myself. And no, I’m not going blond, but I do like blond-ish highlights.
2. Otrivin- because I’ll need to breath.
3. Visine allergy- because as I get older my allergies get worse, weird eh?
4. Parissa wax strips- just keepin’ it real.
5. Schick razors- to be honest, I usually just use David’s, but I thought I should let his shave while I’m gone.
6. Secret Clinical Strength- It’s the best deodorant, and yes, I know, I’ve seen that website and I know that I’m going to get cancer, but I have an ‘ism when it comes to B.O.

7. Advil- because I’ll need it.
8. Pepto- for the same reason
9. One step sanitizer spray- another ism.
10. Neutrogena 30 SPF Sunblock- because I’m not crazy

11. Sexy Mother Pucker Lip-gloss because I love to try something new and because I loved the name! This isn’t so much a ringing endorsement as much as it is hope for people with thin lips. I put this stuff on and my lips tingled. It felt very much like it does after an electrolysis session-not that I’ve had that done. Wink wink nudged nudged. And why did I buy 2? You guessed it, I bought one for myself and one for you. Thou I warn you, if you have control issues and risk screaming, “For the love of God get it off!!” and you fear getting lips like Lisa Rinna, this might not be the product for you.

I will say that I think it did make my lips mildly plumper. The tingling will last for about 10 minutes, and don’t lick your lips or your tongue will tingle too. It only cost $9.99.

And how do you win this fun little product? Just comment with your favorite drug store product. We all have one! And if you don’t have one, simply wish me a Happy Birthday because today, I turn 33. I’ll be drawing from the comments when I get back from my trip on March 6th. If I can get to computer while I’m there I may try to blog on location like when Reges and Kelly do their show from Hawaii. Well, kinda like that, but don’t count on it.

I shall miss you all and I’ll tell you all about it.
Salut

My son Evan, oh what to say, he’s a delight. But I’m beginning to believe that he suffers from a bit of OCD because he doesn’t go to bed without doing this first:

Evan lays out the next morning’s clothes on his bedroom floor, even putting his watch on the sleeve of his shirt, and the socks on the bottom of his pants. I happen to think this is adorable. Well, that and the fact that he’ll ask, “Do you think this looks ok, Mommy? ” But honestly, if the worst thing he does is carefully plan out his outfits in an effort to look put together, his future wife is going to be very lucky, and I’m guessing she won’t be nearly good enough.

I’d love to take a look at his life in 20 years to see what he’ll be like. I’m kind of thinking he’ll be a banker or businessman. Why? Well Evan loves money. He loves to earn it and watch it grow. He has more money than I do, not that that’s a big task. In fact, he loves money so much that his bookmark is a 5-dollar bill.

His Godfather, Wayne, made him a deal when he started hockey, a deal similar to the one Wayne’s uncle made to him when Wayne started hockey. For every goal Evan scored in a game, Wayne would give him a dollar. After Evan’s first goal, Wayne presented him with his first shiny loonie. Evan put the loonie in his piggy bank and later announced that while he was appreciative of all the loonies he’d be sure to get this hockey season, a dollar isn’t worth as much as it was in the “olden days” when Wayne was a kid. Evan thought he might try to negotiate a high rate due to inflation.

I should mention, before you get the impression that he’s greedy, Evan has already given more money than some adults. By giving cash in lieu of getting gifts for his last birthday and raising it by selling candy canes at Christmas, Evan gets the whole “do on to others” thing and I couldn’t be more proud.

And then there’s his tie and belt collection. It’s the envy of some grown men.

Evan loves wearing ties and any dinner out or a night at Neptune is a good excuse to wear one, which is polar opposite to his brother Colin, who I have to force out of his pajamas every morning. Colin doesn’t wear pants unless they are “soft pants” and he yanks them down to just above the crack of his ass, sometimes below. We really lead by example in this house.

These pictures say it all. They were taken a few years ago. We were all going to the pub for dinner, Evan in faded jeans, a dress shirt and a tie, Colin in soft pants and sandals. We always joked that it looks like Evan is Colin’s lawyer taking Colin to his bail hearing.

But of course that is just a joke and really not very funny at all.

Evan’s all business, Colin’s all personality. Both are equally adored.

This weekend I went to a hockey dance where all of the parents went and boozed it up. I woke up in the morning, on the sofa, because if my memory serves me correctly, I decided I’d watch the last bit of Saturday Night Live before heading to bed. I didn’t quite make it. I lay on the sofa at 6:30 am watching an infomercial and tried to remember the events of the evening while my head throbbed. I remembered walking into the Lunenburg Community Center and feeling exactly like I did in high school, except tonight I didn’t have a pint tucked in the back of my jeans. I remembered getting 6 drinks tickets but only drinking 5 because I bought one for a friend. I lay there not believing it were possible that I feel this badly from 5 ounces of rum. Instead I convinced myself that someone slipped something into my drink.

My God I’m too old for this.

Thou the details were sketchy, I had a distinct recollection of getting hit on, I think. This is what I remembered:

Young drunk guy falls into me: “Ohhhh I’m really sorry very.”

Me: “No worries.”

Young drink guy with a glazed-over look on his face: “Well…kinda hope I do it again…fall in ta ya. Godda go pee.
Then he left with young drink friends.

My friend Maryelle: “I think that guy was hitting on you.”

Me: “Oh, is that what that was?”
I wasn’t sure if I should’ve been flattered of if I should’ve corrected his English. I decided to be flattered.

On that note, I decided I’d ride this high and post my recipe for the most amazing Chocolate Brownie balls.

Before I tell you what’s in these and you flip out because I’m am so incredibly cleaver, I must warm you. After making the first batch for Teacher Appreciation Day, I immediately made another for the office as a fundraiser, and I probably ate 6 in a row for breakfast. I’m just saying. They are so easy that you’ll be able to whip them up and gobble them down before your family is even aware that you’ve made them. I’ve done my duty by warning you. Let’s proceed.

Make a chocolate cake from a box according to the instructions. Yes, from a box. I’m not making this up.

Take a fork and shred it into crumbs. You have no idea how invigorating this feels. Go ahead. You know you want to.

Mix in 3/4 of a tub of store bought frosting. Again, you heard me correctly. continue to mix until all incorporated.

Take a tablespoon of it and roll into a ball. This is delightfully messy. Keep a small bowl of warm water beside you to keep the balls moist.

Continue until all the cake mixture is gone. Cover with siran wrap and refrigerate for an hour, until cool.

In the mean time, melt 2 bags of semi-sweet chocolate chips in a double broiler and add 1/4 cup of butter. Cool slightly. dip all the cake balls in the chocolate and roll around and then place on parchment paper.
Drizzle melted milk chocolate on the chocolate balls and them lick your fingers. That’s what the instructions say. And I always follow the instructions. Refrigerate again.

Once cooled you can be as creative or not as you want to, or not. I stabbed the balls with pointy squires, and I surprised myself at how much fun that was. Then I made a little arrangement out of them with a pot and flower arrangement foam, and I will totally be doing that again, because these are the things that make me very happy. But I beg you not to call me Martha, because that makes me unhappy.

I posted this picture, not because I look fabulous, because I don’t, but because I love how in the left hand corner you can see Colin sneak a chocolate when my attention was diverted. He’s very much like his mother.

WOW, who knew that I have male readers? I feel kinda bad because I don’t post male content. But if it’s any consolation, as I’m writing this post, I am belching and scratching my arse. Just kidding (I don’t belch).

Well thanks for all your guesses. I should have told you that my martini glasses are bigger than the average girls. There were 115 mini hearts in the glass and the winner was Joanne. She got some stationary and some Tea Brewery tea, lucky gal. I actually did buy a bottle of red wine with the intention of giving that to the winner. But then I started questioning if I’d have to ID her and if it were legal, so I decided to drink it instead. It turns out that was a much better decision anyway. I like giving stuff away, so stay tuned as I plan on having some more fun giveaways. But I promise only to give away stuff that I love. I cannot be bought, well unless you’re selling booze, clothes, or electronics, and then hook a sister up and I’ll write anything you want me to.

And you’ll be happy to know that in fact I did get more viewers than the obits this week, but only slightly, proving that my life is mildly more interesting than who died.

Did you know that this week was Teacher Appreciation Week? Well it is, and our Home and School Association provided treats in the teacher’s staff room everyday of the week. It’s just our way of saying, “Thanks for being great teachers. Thanks for spending 30 hours a week with our children. Thanks for shaping them into who they are. Thanks for giving us an alternative to home schooling.” I mean no disrespect to home schoolers, I just know my own limitations and I want my kids to be smarter than me. Fortunately for them they past that milestone long ago.

I made these delightful Chocolate Brownie Balls (My goodness, this post is awfully phallic!). They were sooo good and ridiculously easy to make and I will be posting the recipe on Monday because I’m too tired to do it today. I’m going to go home and finish off that bottle of wine that Joanne almost won. Plus it’s Valentines Day tomorrow and I have to “use my imagination”. Wouldn’t you know, the one post David happened to read and I made a statement like that.

Happy Valentines Day.

OK, pay close attention all you men, for I may very well save your marriage. Well, that’s a stretch, but it is quite possible that if you take my advice, you’ll up your odds of scoring on Valentines Day.

When it comes to Valentines Day, I’m indifferent. I mean, it’s nice that spouses show their love, but it disturbs me that we encourage each other to be romantic only once a year. It’s kind of disheartening because he’s proven that he has it in him, but likely won’t show it until next Valentines Day.

And honestly, it’s a shame for David, because he can’t win. If he gives me flowers I say thanks but secretly think,” Great, another thing for me to water and watch die.” If he gives me chocolates then I’ll eat the entire box and hate myself and resent him. If he buys me jewelry I’m pissed because we can’t afford it. If he gives me lingerie, I’ll wear it once and then put it in the one dresser I never open again.

This year, I will make it very easy for him and all the other men out there. I’m going to share with you what women really want for Valentines Day. And lucky for you, everything costs less than 20 bones, AND I will be giving one of these items to one of you on Valentines Day so men, you won’t have to do anything at all. But since few men are likely reading this blog, women, you can win it for yourself. And before any of you women comment and say, “WTF- I don’t want that for Valentines Day”, fear not, because if your husband knows you like he should, he shouldn’t be trying to win this and instead will buy you the flowers and chocolates that you will just love! So it’s a win win really.

Good coffee beans and liquor- because this is how I roll.

Go to little effort here guys, go to Quest Coffee and get freshly roasted, ground beans. And then make her a pot on Valentines Day. Then get a liquor that she doesn’t have because nothing says I love you like a good buzz in the morning.

Herbal Tea and an antique cup

The Tea Brewery has a lovely Maritime Morning. Then go to an old antique shop for a teacup and saucer. Or ask your mother for one of hers. She’ll love that you thought of that and your mother will feel useful. Plus, they don’t get much use anymore anyway. This teacup and saucer belonged to my husbands grandmother and I was given a few when she died. They are my favorite things in the world and I really do use them.

Old framed picture

We all have a shoe box of old unframed pictures. Take an old picture, one she’ll forget you have, and frame it. Now that’s romantic.

Nice bottle of wine

Go to the liquor store and get a different bottle of wine, one that she hasn’t tried. Go ahead, spend a little more than the $12 you’d usually spend.

Make breakfast in bed.

Valentines day is on a Saturday this year! So go ahead and make breakfast in bed (and David, FYI, this brunch casserole is in the freezer ready to go in the oven for 45 minutes at 350 degrees. It’s kind of a no brainer).

8 croissants diced in 1 inch cubes, 5 sautéed sausages, 1 red pepper and Spanish onion sautéed and topped on the bread, topped with a cup of old cheddar cheese or and then with 6 eggs mixed with 1/3 cup pf milk, salt and pepper. Delicious!

A really good book.

Not this kind of book.

But this kind of book.

A nice set of stationary.

Sure we all e-mail, but I still prefer to get a letter on a beautiful piece of paper..

New music

Most of us have an MPS player. Download some favorite music, or better yet, some romantic Italian music that you can dance (or something else) to.

And finally and probably most importantly, a kiss. A passionate kiss smack dab on the lips with eyes closed, one hand on her back the other behind her neck, not on any sexual organ whatsoever. A little tongue is acceptable, but honestly, it can be a bit over rated. Resist all temptation to slap anything or ask, “Ya wanna” anything. because that my friends, is all we really want for Valentines Day. Oh, and don’t forget to let out a little moan.

And as for us gals, well, we’re lucky. Men are so easy. All we have to do is…use our imagination, and surely we can do that once a year.

Now, I’m giving away what’s in this box, to you, because it’s Valentines Day, and because I love you, and because it is my secret obsession to get more visitors than the Obituary Section of this website. This is how you can win:

Whoever guesses the closest amount of these disgusting love hearts that are in this beautiful martini glass without going over, wins. There are between 75 and 150. I had my 7-year-old count them because when you’re 7 you like to count things. When you’re 32 like me, you lose count, 3 times. grrrrr

Last chance is Friday at noon, and I’ll send it to you if you’re not from Bridgewater.
Good luck! Oh and David, please don’t get me anything for Valentines Day. You got me these cute peek-a-boo-toe sling-back shoes, on sale and everything and I love them! You’re such a good gift buyer.

I’m writing this post, well, for you, all my virtual friends, but mostly as evidence. You see, in about 10 years my kids will hate us when we won’t let them go to the school dance because of a poor mark on a test, or when we take the keys because they got caught speeding, or when we tell them they can’t stay over night at their girlfriends house because my boyfriends did that, and they never stayed on the sofa. A-hum.

Anyway, when they hate us, I will show them this post in an attempt to make them feel guilty for wishing to harm us in our sleep. And I will tell them about when they were 7 and 5 and fell in love with hockey. David ordered a hockey rink from nicerinks.com and spent about an hour each and every night lovingly watering it like a vegetable garden, some nights in bitterly cold temperatures. Then in February 2009, when we were pummeled with winter storm upon winter storm, David would shovel it, and then it would storm again. And he’d shovel it again. Then it would freezing rain, and he would water it.

The boys would get off the bus and throw their book bags and kick off their winter boots and yell, “Tie my skates!” And they would run down the front stairs to the front lawn to where the rink is, where I lost my favorite tree to make room for the rink. Then the neighborhood kids would come running with their skates and sticks flailing with snot running out of their noses and they’d yell, “Tie my skates!”

I’d bring them out a tray of hot chocolate and marshmallows and they’d guzzle it on the ice and then continue to play until their moms would call and say, “Please send my kid home for supper.” Then I’d yell at the kids to go home and they’d say, “Ah-man?” Then they’d yell, “Untie my skates.”

And that is how we spent an entire winter. And it was the most fun we’d had.

So to my children, before you tell us you hate us or that we are bad parents, please look at the pictures below at how much effort your father put into this ice rink so that you’d have a place to play hockey everyday. And I’d ask before you come down too hard on me for the things that I didn’t do for you as a mother, just remember all those hockey skates I tied that winter in 2009.

We love you too.

Your dad shoveled the snow to make room for the rink.

He and your grampie made the walls.

And put in the liner.

Men always need to get big trucks involved in stuff for some reason.

And after 2 fire trucks of water, we wait.

And Colin flipped out because we didn’t instantly have ice.

Then we play.

Even big kids came to play with us.

But don’t worry, one day you’ll be expected to do the shoveling.

I’m craving pot roast. What?? It’s true. And it’s rather unbelievable that I’m craving pot roast because I hated it the entire time I was growing up. Now don’t get me wrong, my mother is a good cook. But when my mother made pot roast, she lacked the two ingredients that a good pot roast can’t be without and that is time and seasoning.

My mouth watering pot roast needs at least 5 hours and a stacked spice drawer full of goodness. Now there is the slight possibility that the Pot Roast Makers Association will file a complaint about me because technically, this might not follow all the rules of what a traditional pot roast consists of. I say, its meat, potatoes, carrots and gravy. I’ll call it hubastank if it means my kids would eat it and they lllooovvveeee my pot roast.

But the first thing you’ll need is a really hot pan for a really good sear. I do that after it’s been seasoned with about a teaspoon of Montreal Steak Spice. I know right? Who knew?

Then plop it in a roasting pot with 2 onions chunked in 8th, 4 diced carrots and 4 potatoes cut in half.

Then go to the pan that you seared the meat. Add a tablespoon of Worcestershire and butter to the pan and melt. Then add a tablespoon of flour and cook for a minute.

Add two cups of beef broth to the pan and cook for another minute. Then take the contents of the pan and add to the pot roast. Add another 2 cups of broth to the roast as well. Then add 2 bay leaves, 4 peppercorns, a teaspoon of dried summer savory and 3-4 springs of thyme.

Cover and cook on 225 degrees. And go about your business for the day. This day I went to watch my son play hockey.

When I got home, my pot roast had been baking for 5 hours and the house smelled unbelievable and my pot roast looked like this.

My son’s plate looked like this.

But only momentarily.