Evan tried out for the Ice Sharks AAA Atom hockey team.  He didn’t make the team.  It was bitter-sweet.

Evan was nervous to try out.  He said, “Mommy, these guys are all really good, and I don’t think I’m good enough to make the team”.

I said, “Evan, if this is something that you really want, I mean really want, you have to give it all you’ve got.  You have to not be cautious.  You have to not be afraid to lose. And if you do all that, then you did your best and you can be proud.”

I watched him out on the ice trying his best, and it occurred to me that, in my life, I wasn’t following the same advice that I gave Evan.

I’m a hypocrite.

Because of my fathers illness, the family got together and asked what was the one thing that he really wanted to do that he had not done.  He wanted to go on a train.  Done.  We quickly made arrangements and were soon bound on a train for Moncton on Via Rail.   I thought it was such a shame that we wait to check things off our bucket list only when we’re going to die.

I revisited my list.  On it was to act in a play.  I saw an ad in the paper for auditions for Hansel and Gretal produced by South Shore Players. I changed the wording on my bucket list however, to read, “audition for a play.”  I thought, I shouldn’t be penalized if the director didn’t see my raw talent when it was standing there in front of him.

Evan came with me for moral support.  I was freaking out!  I sang American Pie and Evan got up the nerve to sing Happy Birthday.  We both got parts but only he was brave enough to take it.  And while I checked it off my list, I regretted being too scared to actually take the role.

I added a new item to my bucket list.  Do something that makes me scared.

Today I pitched a manuscript I’m writing to 3 publishers, and about 30 people in the audience during Pitch the Publisher, in Halifax.  Myself and about 9 others presented our synopsis for constructive criticism.  I was the last one, and I nearly died.  In fact, I almost left.  But all I could think of was Evan, my nine year old boy who struggles with anxiety daily, and who continues to fight his worry beast, is going to ask me how I did.  And I am suppose to be his role model.

That night, he met me at the door with a big grin and said, “Well Mamma, how was your day?  Are they gonna print your  book?”

All of my excitement, pride and disappointment welled up in my throat.  ”It was a good day, Evan.  I faced my worry beast, I did something that makes me scared and, regardless of what happens, I can check something else off my bucket list.”

For the entire summer, it’s been all about soccer.  If they weren’t playing it, we were watching it.  They’ve spent a lot of time rolling around in the grass, and I won’t complain, because soon enough I’ll be freezing my ass off in a rink.

The kids babysitter this summer was a dream.  Adam.  They love him.  He’d pick them up from tennis and swimming, they’d walk home, and then spend hours playing soccer.  And then they’d want to watch him when he was playing for the Mahone Bay Mariners.  You’d think they’d be tired of soccer.  Not so.  Evan would ask me to be goalie when I got home from work, and I’d usually say I was tired and then he’d ask if he could have a sitter.  I’ve been tempted.

So when the South Shore United Football Club was playing in provincials a few weeks ago, there was no question as to where we’d spend our weekend.

I drove to the Park View field excited that my boys still want to hang with their old mom.  Soon enough they’ll be asking me to drop them off at the entrance and begging me to duck while I drive away.  So I grabbed my chair and blanket and claimed my patch of grass to watch other peoples children play soccer all because my kids wanted to see provincials, and I pretended to not be offended when the boys hung out with the cool kids; Adam, their babysitter, and his friends.

This was as close as I got.

It was as if Colin was the coach, the way he paced the side-lines.

Yep, looks like a coach to me.

But did I mind taking second-fiddle to these group of young men?   Young men who would spend their weekend on the field, cheering on their buddies, on a chilly afternoon with no shirts and painted chests?  Young men who hung out with my boys, who were not paid, bribed or black-mailed?  Young men who took the time and effort to paint Colin’s face, making him feel proud-as-punch to look like one of them?

No I didn’t mind.  Not one bit.

Lighthouse has become the first certified Senior Friendly Business in Nova Scotia.  Basically, it means we took the training so that we’re more empathetic to what seniors experience while going about their day.

We handled money with gloves with sticks in them, which symbolized maneuvering with arthritis.

We wore glasses with vision impairments.

We walked with walkers with panty-hose tied around our knees.

And then we wheeled around in wheelchairs and discovered that they’re really difficult to use.

In fact, I had to use my leg…

And when that didn’t work, I had assistance from my friend/colleague, Angie.

And then, in frustration, I lifted the chair over the door jam.  OMG I need to do my roots! Anyway, I was off. Off to experience what it feels like to travel in a wheelchair.

Apparently unlike cars, the peddles aren’t breaks.

Be kind to seniors!

So what’s with the kid that invented the whole ‘wear pink to stand up to bullies’ thing”  Someone should beat him up!  I’m sorry, that wasn’t a funny joke! Sorry!  Crickets chirping, a-hum.

Anyway, does he not know how difficult it is to find a pink shirt for a boy?   And does he not know that if it is suggested that my kids should wear a pink shirt, they’ll hound me and hound me until I find them a pink shirt?  Does that kid not know how easy it is to find…blue shirts, for example?

I make a motion to change the day from ‘Wear pink to stand up to bullies’ to ‘Wear blue to say boo to bullies’.

Do I have a seconder? Anyone?

Anyway, because I couldn’t find a pink shirt that didn’t have glitter or Miley Cyrus or both, I found two old white shirts and dyed them pink with food colouring, and all that was ruined was my bathroom vanity and both my hands.

But I dare say, it was worth it.

The other day, Evan came home from school and said, “Mom, I need 56 bucks, and I need it by Friday,” and I was all, “Evan, are you doing drugs?  Can’t you just wait until you get to Park View?”  Anyway, he explained that he needed the money for the book order and Friday was the deadline.

I was not about to hand him over $56.  Now, before I sound like an old Scrooge, too cheap to buy her kids reading material, I should elaborate.  The kids have lots of books to read.  He just didn’t want to read those books, thou he did when he picked them out.  So, yes, if he in fact had nothing to read, I’d be more than willing to buy him books.

Evan would have to come up with the 56 bucks if he wanted them so badly.

Every year I try the whole allowance thing.  We do it for a few weeks and then it gets old and tired, the kids don’t do the chores anymore we go back to their old ways.  They end up getting money whenever they seem to want it, which is getting more and more frequent.  And then I read this book and discovered that I am most certainly destroying them.

I came up with a plan, a way for them to do work and get an hourly wage, so if they decided to get lazy and not do their work, then they won’t get paid.  And there is a consequence to not doing them, more than not getting paid.

This year I wrote a check for over $800 for hockey.  I know many of you are in the same boat, only the cheque you wrote may have been for much more.  Hockey’s expensive, we signed up for that, I get it.  But it’s great value for the amount they play.  But I told my kids that they’d not only have to reimburse me for some of the fee, but they’d also have to pay me back from some of the gas we’d use throughout the season traveling to games and practices and the liquor store.

So- I took these old CD cases, because being green is the new black, and I inserted a list of jobs on the front and the back that they can check off as they complete them each week, and then erase once the week is done and they start over.  Each list is different and can be interchanged to keep them interested.  Each job should take about 5 minutes.  Each day they’ll have 3 jobs, so that should take about 15 minutes.  On the weekend there are more and they are more difficult so it’s suppose to take them about an hour.

I decided to pay them $20 per hour, meaning that if they complete all their jobs, they should get $45 a week.  Now wait.  I’m not giving them $45.  Thats just crazy talk. But I am giving them $45 in play money in this recycled can mailbox.

With that $45, they have bills to pay.  Once they pay all their bills for the week, they should have $10 left, which they can redeem for real money.

The one folder you don’t see here is the Hockey/Gas folder which is $10.

I’m ok with giving my kids $10 a week in allowance, if that means the jobs get done and they’re not coming to me every few minutes for cash.  Plus I wanted their reward to be significant enough for the jobs to be worth their while.

As for Evan and the $56, he did jobs for family and had $20 saved from before, and, oh yeah, he did ALL Colin’s jobs, and actually did manage to get the $56.  I wanted Colin to see that, had he done the chores he would have received the reward.  It appears that my plan didn’t work out as I had hoped.  All Colin said was, “I don’t care, I don’t want books anyway.”

This is what it looked like minutes from our house during hurricane Earl.

Pretty dreary hah?  What better to do than to make over this awkward corner that I don’t like.  It’s weird, we don’t know what to do with it, so we do nothing, and just store our bottled water jugs there.  But I had an idea.

See, every year around the start of school, I decide that this year we’re going to be organized.  We’re always going to know where our library books are.  Our books and papers are going to be right where we left them.  Homework will be done at the desk seeing that that is what desks are for.  Inevitably this works for the first month, and then by the time October rolls around, everything goes back to it’s regular kayos.

But today, seeing as there was nothing else to do, I dug out this golf rack that I bought weeks before for just this occasion, and I decided that this was the day for a revolution.

I took out the 525 pieces and stared at them, and then I decided to wait for David.  He’s good at these things.  And he was sooooo happy when he saw that I took all the pieces out of their packages that were once labeled.  Apparently that helps with the assembly.  Those direction people, they don’t know who they’re dealing with.  They don’t know how good you are at putting these things together, is how I stroked his ego, and then about a half hour later, my awkward, useless corner, was transformed into this communication station, where the kids can throw their book bags, and put their homework and check the board for reminders and communication.  It’s not perfect, but not bad for $25 eh?

More specifically, take note of these message boards.

Can you believe that they were once picture frames that housed some of our awards at Lighthouse?

See, we were doing a purge and someone was going to chuck them because we have about a million and because they were about 10 years old, and I was all, wait a minute!  I can do something with those. And everyone turned up their noses and were all, Tina, you’re so simple.  But you go ahead dear, you go ahead and save the world with your little recycled idea. Little did I know that I’d have to use an entire can of spray paint to reinvent them.  Plus, I may have to repaint my deck.

Details.  Anyway, I added some pretty paper and they look great, and they’re completely functional.  With an erasable marker, I can write little notes to my boys.

And they can write notes to me.

Look at that face?  Won’t he be disappointed!

Oh…and see this?  Just wait until I show you what is in here.  It involves chores and allowance!

Small towns are funny, ya know?  Great when people rally around a person in need, not so great when you have to go to the local drug store for a pregnancy test, not because of the people who work there, but because of who you run into.  I’ve become really good at wrapping a People magazine around my box of hair dye.

But then, there is back to school time, and  I simply walk into my friendly, neighborhood Kinburn Pharmasave and say “One grade 4 and one grade 2 please” and they say, “Sure Tina, we’ll call you when they’re done.” And then a week or so later, I go and pick up all my kids school supplies packed neatly in a bag, list attached, anything that wasn’t available highlighted.

And I skip out the door, grateful that I don’t have to enter the madness.  Searching with dozens of panicked people looking for HB pencils and one and three-quarter inch binders that have to be a certain shade of blue!  All I have to do is label everything and sharpen everything, which by the way, I have to see a chiropractor on account of the twisting motion of my hands. I literally sharpened 50 pencils.  To be honest, I didn’t do all 50.  I gave up and I felt like a failure.  No joke, I broke out in a sweat sharpening pencils.  Seriously!

You all know, I have MAD love for teachers!   I’m like Oprah when it comes to teachers.  But last night, I was lamenting with friends, asking, “why put such a specific thing on a list, like grey duo-tangs if they don’t exist”, which clearly they don’t because I had been to four stores, and my only solution I was able to come up with was to bleach a black one.  Then, the daughter of our friend gave us one of her extra duo-tangs.  It was grey.

On the way home, Evan said, “See mommy, grey duo-tangs do exist.  You were wrong!”

Thank you Bromlyn, for saving the day, and proving me wrong.

Happy school year everyone!!  Here is a link to a really great back-to-school idea from one of my favorite websites.  You can download free printable.  Enjoy!