“Why was Cinderella not good at soccer?”

Give up?

“She kept running away from the ball.”

That was the fairy tale joke that won my son 2 tickets to the play Hansel and Gretel, performed by South Shore Players.

If you get a chance, you really should go see it.  It was terrific!  Remember awhile back, Evan was in the play, but life got in the way in the form of basketball, volleyball and hockey, and instead, we thought we’d just support them in the audience.

We had a blast.  So funny, so witty and charming.

The next day we went to the Lunenburg parade between hockey games.

The boys waiting patiently.

The dads, they were pretty patient too.

There was lots to see.

I just love a marching band.

I mean, have you seen anything cuter?  Or…more cute.  I was never good at grammar.

Well, maybe this one here.  He’s pretty darn cute.

It’s really a toss up.

And the big guy himself.

And now… I’m in the Christmas spirit.  Let the spending begin!

I like green tea, but this isn’t what this post is about.

I took an old, empty green tea box…

Glued wrapping paper to it, then cut holes in it with a hole punch…

And then put in ribbon and pulled it through the holes.

I use a lot of ribbon at Christmas, for gift wrapping and crafting and packaging, and this keeps it organized.

Funny, I made this to keep my ribbon organized while 3 loads of laundry pile high and our dinner dishes remain undone and my fridge hasn’t been cleaned since the Tories were in power, but how friggen cute is this?

Hi Steve,

How are ya?  I’m good, thanks.

You know I cherish our friendship.  You’re my co-worker, and someone who I genuinely  like.  It warms my heart when I hear you talk about your kids.  It’s my greatest hope that when my kids are young adults, I like them as much as you appear to like Matt and Justin.  I hope upon hope that when my husband talks about me in public, he does so with the same admiration you do when you speak about your wife, Jody.  I doubt he does, but I still hold out hope.

And sure you talk a lot, but you do so with gusto, one has to admire the passion you have for music and sports.

I just have one request, a suggestion really, and I fully believe that this will help you in your life, as well as many unknowing, well-meaning males out there.

Here goes:  You really can’t, ever, in a sentence, or, even in writing, out of concern or dislike, call someone ‘haggard’ and it not be taken as an insult.  I know you didn’t mean to insult me.  I’m sure you were trying to show concern.  But after giving it much thought, I couldn’t find one instance where you can use the term haggard and it be anything but insulting.   Let us see, shall we?

I’m concerned, you’re looking haggard. Nope, that’s no good.

You must be haggard from being so awesome. Still bad.

Hey haggard, I love your outfit. Contradictory.

In fact, upon further reflection, I believe that term must never be used.  Ever.  See, the thing about the term haggard, it’s permanent.  It’s not a temporary state, like, say, being tired.  Tired can be changed with sleep.  Same with stressed, just de-stress.  It’s impossible to de-haggar.  Actually, even fat is a state that can be changed.  Next time, just say, “Tina, you’re looking fat,” instead of haggard.  I’ll take it much better.  Are we cool?

Anyway Steve, stay awesome!

From your friend,

Tina:)

PS. I told you I was going to blog about it.  Anything else you wanna call me?

It could be considered a mid-life crisis, maybe a case of self-mutilation, maybe spending 7 hours in a rink on the weekend wasn’t enough; whatever the reason, I started playing women’s hockey, and it was the most fun I’ve had on my back…well…second most fun.

After seeing a poster in the rink for women’s beginners hockey, some of my hockey buddies all decided that we’d go, that way we can know what we’re screaming about when we yell at our kids.

Our coach is Sherry Ritcey, which is huge!  It’s like taking your kid to minor hockey and finding out that Glen Murray is the coach, it’s a major score.  She’s patient and knowledgeable about hockey, and she has a good sense of humor, which is great, because we pretty much laughed the entire time we were on the ice…and then in the changing room.

Seriously, I’m a cult member (the cult that is HEAT Studio in Bridgewater), and we’ve had some crazy workouts.  I wouldn’t be lying when I say there’s a puke bucket, I even once heard someone speaking in thongs, anyway, I sweated just as much playing hockey as I do there.

But the best…when my son asked how I did and I told him I scored 2 goals.  No Bakugan has ever given him that same look of admiration. It was as if to say, My mom can play Hockey!  Can it be that she’s not as lame as I thought?

And maybe it’s my inner thighs that are raging in pain, maybe it’s the ladies I met (Melissa or Melanie, from Windsor or Middleton, bad memory, sorry), maybe it was the power of the cup, whatever it is, I can’t wait to do it again.

Ladies? Nothing to do Saturday December 4th at 9 am?  Do you have an extra 12 bucks in your parking change and your husbands stinky gear kicking around?  Join us at the Lunenburg Arena.  I’d really appreciate it if you sucked slightly more than me.  That basically means it’s all inclusive.

Like most of you, I have a few different worlds.  I have my work world, my family world, my friends world, my hockey world, and a few weeks ago, I had a few members of my knitting world in for a champaign brunch.

I call them my knitting world, but we don’t really knit.  We’ll often bring needles and yarn, and sometimes, when we’re really ambitious, we’ll even cast on.  Sometimes crazy things happen and we’ll knit and pearl a row or two.  But mostly we laugh…

We laugh a lot…

We drink champaign bellinies (recipe to follow, dead easy)

We eat…

And we share.  We share our frustrations, our triumphs, our successes and our failures.  There is no pretension, no guessing and no worrying if anyone has an agenda,  just good girl fun.

And because the holidays are fast approaching, and you, no doubt will be hosting your family world, I’ll share these two recipes that are the easiest make ahead addition to your table you’ll ever find!  It’s great because you’re not standing over your pot poaching eggs, you just throw it in the oven and drink with your guests.

EASY OVEN EGGS BENNY serves 8

2 square sheets of frozen puff pastry (you could make it from scratch, but why on earth would you?)

1 box of frozen chopped spinach, thawed and fully drained (same comment as above)

1/4 cup butter

2 green onion chopped

tsp dijon mustard

2 cups of shredded cooked ham

1/2 tsp salt and pepper

12 eggs

1 cup milk

Saute the diced green onion in 1/4 cup of butter.  Once add ham.  In a separate bowl, scramble 10 eggs and the milk and add to the pan.  Scramble on medium heat.  You want the eggs to be mostly cooked but still liquidy, as they will continue to cook in the oven.  Cool in the fridge.

Unfold the puff pastry once it’s de thawed but still really cold.  Mix the spinach that has been drained of it’s liquid with 2 eggs, dijon and salt and pepper.  Distribute evenly on the pastry.  Then top with the egg and ham mixture.  Refrigerate until ready to eat, puff pastry works best when cold.  Then bake according to package direction or 400 for 15- 20 minutes, when crust has browned.  Cut in squares and top with hollandaise sauce.

Hollandaise sauce.

3 eggs yolks

1/2 cup butter in chunks

bit of white wine and squeeze of lemon

sprinkle of paprika.

Bit of water

Over boiling water, place a stainless-steel bowl, whisk yolks until fight and frothy, add the butter a tablespoon at a time, continue to whisk, add the other ingredients, and the water if it’s too thick.

Bellinies

Bag of frozen mango and bag of frozen berries

Add a cup of simple syrup (a mixture of equal parts sugar and water simmered and cooled) to each bag and whizz in a blender, strain and add 2 tablespoons of the fruit mixture to a glass of champagne or if you’re good, soda water, but it’s the holidays, live it up a little!

I have a dead tree.  I mean, really dead.  So dead that I don’t recall the last time I watered it.  Maybe last year.

It was in a pot in our living room until I got tired of sweeping up the leaves and I moved it outside.  Yes, instead of watering it, I just moved it.

But I saw life in this tree.  So I removed the few leaves that remained and a can of white spray paint, you know how I love spray paint, and printed it.

I stuck it in a steal bucket ($8.99 from Lunenburg Hardware), and topped it off with fake snow from the dollar store, bringing this dead tree back to life and some festive spirit to my back patio.

I am merely a half-assed-seamstress.  That might even be a stretch.  I’ve sewn slipcovers, aprons, placemats, stuff like that, but nothing that anyone would pay a lot of money for.  I’m getting much better, but it’s all trial and error, and I can tell you, I’ve ruined a lot!

I tell you that to qualify this next statement:  anyone can make a stocking!

I decided that this year, I’d make new stockings.  The ones we have are fabulous, and I love them, but they’re sort of traditional, and this year, I vowed to be more whimsical. Plus, our house looks much different this year and I want to start a-new.

So I took some of my fabric, and I literally traced around one of my boots…

I did the same with several other pieces and several other boots, and then I sewed them…

And then I turned them right side out and added a contracting material along the top, added a ribbon to attach to the banister…

And voila.  So cute!  I seriously would wear several of these on my feet if I could.

Then feeling selfish, I took an old shirt and tie of David’s and turned that into a sock.

He said, “Well four to one, you got the ratio right.”

A reader e-mailed me asking where all the homemade gift ideas are that I promised.  I have them, trust me, I was just nervous about adding them and blowing the surprise when my friends and family open them on Christmas morning.  Then it occurred to me that the chances are slim since my friends and family don’t read this blog for fear of what I might say on account of my lack of filter. They know me well.

What do you get someone who has everything that they need?   Someone who dislikes getting a gift just for the sake of getting a gift?   It’s tough, and it can cause me stress trying to find the perfect gift.  But I found one, or at least a small one and I saw it in an old keyboard.

We did a big purge at work awhile ago, throwing out stuff that wasn’t needed,  I went and took stuff that I thought I could make a project out of.  I told Laurenda not to throw this key board out, and she asked why and I said I had a project in mind with the keys and God bless her soul, she took the keys off the board for me.

Then I washed them and attached a tack with a hot glue gun.

I bought a frame, removed the glass and added cork found in a bulletin board.  I bought it at Gows.

I spelled out the name and Grampy and Justin.  Keep in mind, I only had one of each letter, so I couldn’t spell Laurenda for example, like I wanted to, to thank her for her help in this little project.  I attached my kids school pictures.  How cute is this, and how handsome are they?

These school pictures remind me of how different my boys are.  Evan looks like he’s just passed his Bar exam.  Colin looks like he’s going to a frat party.

I could have ordered the head and shoulders shot of Colin, but this one just seemed more like him, and I loved it, mostly because his shirt was untucked and he was actually wearing pants that weren’t soft!  They had a zipper and a snap with pockets!  There was no elastic band found anywhere in these pants.  Remarkable!  A monumental occasion such as this deserves a frame made by his own hands.

OK- so this post is both a great idea and a wonderful story, so make sure to keep reading.  First a brief history:

My husband is a bit of a hoarder.  I am a chucker who hates clutter.   It makes life interesting. Co-workers who see my office, make no comment.   He’ll try and save every magazine while I go around throwing them out.  Then he goes THROUGH THE GARBAGE Y’ALL, and will take them and hide them.  Then I’ll find them later.  That’s important to the story.

After my little basement reno, I was left with an ugly wooden trunk.  It didn’t look so bad with the old ugly basement, but now it wouldn’t do.  I had to keep it thou, because I sometimes would use it for laundry, or to sit while I chatted with the kids or waited for the bathroom.

So I dug out the extra paint that I used for the stairs, painted it, it took 10 minutes, then took foam that I got from Walmart, it cost $5, and then I secured some really fun graphic to it with…wait for it…a hot glue gun (see, I’m pretty lazy), and I have a terrific transformation.

Then I took some old pillows…

And covered them with matching fabric.

Not bad for $5 and 15 minutes

Honestly, we’ve had this trunk in our basement ever since we moved to this house.  I’ve never known what was in it.  Quite frankly, I’ve never cared. But I thought I should open it for two reasons, 1- so I didn’t paint it shut, and 2- incase David was ever accused of murder and the evidence stored in this trunk.  I thought it be suspicious to say, “Officer, honestly, it’s been under my noes for 5 years, I even painted it, and I had no idea what was inside.”

I went to David and innocently asked if he could unlock it.  He gave me a weird look.  Then, I demanded that he open it…now.  He got up and went to the trunk and lifted the top very easily and said, “Tina, this trunk doesn’t lock.  Are you that weak?  Don’t you work out?  You really are a candidate for osteoporosis.”

Moving on.

What I found in the trunk…was surprising!

And I was certain that in our 10 years of marriage that he was all out of surprises.

On the top of the trunk were all the kids yearbooks since they’ve started school…and the CD’s from all their Christmas concerts…

And certificates from their accomplishments, and even drawings and homework.

I dug deeper and found my certificates…and graduation program…I had no idea where it came from…then all his yearbooks, certificates, and pictures from his youth.  I dug deeper and found the program from his mothers funeral…lots of sentimental things, including these Christmas cards that his parents sent out when he was a child, even as a baby.

I was so touched and honestly surprised that he took the effort to save all these things for our boys and grateful of his hoarding tendencies.

These things are important.  I loved looking at them and I’m glad he saved them.  Can you all please remind me, when next week, I write a post where I complain about him, that he really is terrific, and I am really very lucky.

OMG- I’ve been busy- no busier than any one of you, but busy non-the-less.

This holiday season I’ve made a decision to (A) not spend a bunch of money, (B) entertain like crazy, (C) change all my Christmas decorations to a more fun and contemporary decor as appose to the more traditional style of years past.  I know you’re all thinking, good luck doing that while doing (A).

But I have a plan.

Don’t worry, my plan will work.

I’m going to be creative and thrifty and I’m going to include directions.  But first, I had to update my basement.  Yuck! We’ve lived in this house for 4 years now, and we never did anything to my basement, with the exception of the kids playroom last year.  The bathroom was brutal and the hallway uninviting.  Really, aside from the laundry room, I really didn’t go down there.  In fact, I didn’t take before pictures out of embarrassment.

But with a couple of cans of paint and a few all nighters, I painted the basement stairs and hall way that connects all the rooms.  It’s the colour of my two favourite drinks: coffee with Baileys and the olive in a martini.  The plan was to entice me to spend more time down there.  But it’s really just making me thirsty.

And because I really didn’t want to spend money on art work, I just reused frames and used cool paper.  I had the paper, so it cost me nothing.

And because I’m sure in a few more years my boys will decide to move to the basement and I will be left boarding up the windows,  I thought I should re-do their soon-to-be bathroom.  I carried through the colour of the accent walls, the olive martini.   This is where I will have a healthy supply of  deodorant and contraceptives.   You can’t fool this mom.

But it still needed something.  A little texture, a little warmth, something.  So with less that $10 and some of the fabric I’m addicted to buying, that’s my vice, I made this:

And I love it!  I’ll add to it as I pick up cross sticking rings and material and this is how I did it. So simple:

Take the ring, this one was $2.99, the most expensive of the rings, the smallest being $.99…

Take cool material…

Stuck it in the ring…

Trimmed around the edge…

Continued with others of various sizes and colours.

Used the heal of my sturdiest stiletto to hammer in the nails.

Any monkey can do it…well…any monkey who wears stilettos.