SO– there are three groups of people who I wouldn’t cross the street to shake hands with.

1- George W. Bush.  You can clump together a number of people in this group; our own Prime Minister Stephen Harper, Sarah Paulin, none of them would be worth the effort, in my mind, to stand in a line and wait to see.  Time is valuable people.

2- The monarchy.  I know people will disagree, but I don’t get it.  I’ve seen footage of where people have lined up for city blocks to get a glimpse of the queens chariot.  I’ve heard people say that they are Britans celebrities, and I’m all, nah-ah!  You have David and Victoria Beckham.

3- Celine Dion.  Is it her success, her talent, her figure despite having had three kids, two of whom she had at the same time?  What is it about Celine Dion?  I think it’s that she has these weird mannerisms that make me feel uncomfortable for her, like watching Jim Carey or some of the bad singers on American Idol.

And then, I watched her concert on TV, Celine Through The Eyes of The World.  I first started watching it because there was nothing else on.  I thought, I might as well watch this, I can’t possibly dislike her anymore than I do right now.

And then, the surprise of a lifetime, I was 20 minutes in, and I only felt slightly uncomfortable for her Celine-ism’s, I didn’t manage to fold one item of laundry and I was in tears.  I thought she was amazing, not weird at all.  Ok, only slightly weird, but endearing none-the-less.  And now, I’m a fan.  Thou, I might have one less thing in common with my sister, please forgive me Deanna.

So, my mind can be changed.

Except, I’m still never crossing the street to see Bush or Harper.  Sarah Paulin, I might even egg.

As some of you may know, my Colin loves to cook.  He always has.  Even when he was a baby, his favourite place to be was watching me cook in the kitchen.

Then last year, he really took a-shining to it, even after getting several burns.  We started a fun little cookbook featuring his famous fish and chip wrap, that has a fish stick and dill pickle chips for a crunch all rolled in a wrap, and potato and knuckle casserole. He came up with the name after he grated a potato…and a knuckle.

And I knew he was the real deal when I was putting away the groceries and he picked up the package of chicken breasts and said, “Can I have one?” and low-and-behold, he made a chicken dish that was surprisingly delicious. He added blueberry jam and dubbed it “Jammin’ Chicken.  My Colin, so cleaver.

Colin just had a birthday, and I said to him, “Hey Colin, what-da-ya-say we have a flag football birthday party”.  He’s said, “No, I want to have a cooking birthday party”.  And I say, “Gee, that’s gonna be tough, how about a dance?” He says, “No, I wanna cook.”  And I say, “What about a mini-sticks tournament?  He says, “What about cooking?”  And I was all, how on earth can I pull this off? But then again, I do so love a challenge.

First, I took to my new favourite site, Cake and Paper, and ordered the italian package.  This is the second package I’ve ordered.  The first being this one for a Valentine’s day party we had not long ago.  I’m telling you, the stuff is so great, you’re going to look through the party ideas and just be dying to host your friends.

Then, I made sauce, I mean a lot of sauce.  I made a tomato sauce and a béchamel and oh…the meatballs!  Each kid made his own plate of food buffet style which was great, and because they made it themselves they really took pride in the finished plate.

And some of these boys made the most amazing dishes, I’m talking cover of Fine Cooking good!

Then each kid kneaded their own bread roll and topped it with, well, whatever they wanted.  Some opted for herbs, others for cheese, and then one boy put an obscene amount of sea-salt on top.  Poor kid- I’m sure he’s unrecognizable and hooked up to a heart monitor somewhere.

And then we decorated cakes.  Thanks to the Super Store, who made me 10 darling little mini cakes, and the Bulk Barn where I got a ridiculous amount of little sprinkles that I’m still walking on, the kids all made their own cakes, which was great because it meant I didn’t have to buy one or eat half of it.  And only my food loving, Food Network watching kid would have said to me days before the party, “Mommy, we’re gonna need fondant!” FYI- Fondant is disgusting! Thanks for nothing Cake Boss!  Oh, and please don’t ask why my picture is hung upside down.  It’s a long but funny story!

The kids left with their own specially made sauce, which I knew all the parents would appreciate more than the kids, as one kid pointed out, when I told him that the jar of sauce was what they got to take home, he looked at me and said, “You mean, instead of candy?”

The fun that we all had was not dampened by the mess I was left with.  We have great kids.  REALLY great kids!  And that’s always nice to find out, and not only that, but I was left with some sprinkles.

Combine this with my latest addition to my cookie cutter collection, and you just know that it will make a great giveaway just in time for Easter!  Stay tuned.

** THIS POST CONTAINS MATURE LANGUAGE.  VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED***

Hockey is over. Three cheers…hip-hip…

No really, I will miss it.  I will miss the hockey, I will miss the terrific kids, and I will miss their parents who I sat with every weekend for the last six months, and now the only time I will see them is sitting across the field when my boys play soccer against theirs, where I will wave and say hello, and then say suck-it!! I’m just kidding guys, I would never say that!

And my boys will miss all their hockey buddies, taking out all their boy-hoodedness on the ice, and I just don’t know what they’ll do for the next month until soccer starts, but I’m pretty sure someone will draw blood.

One thing is certain thou, for me, I have a few little house-hold projects in mind.  I haven’t done them yet, but I thought I’d share with you what I have in mind, and then maybe post the afters, providing they turn out ok.  All projects will be completed on a budget because that is how I roll!

First of all, this is my laundry room.   The truth is, this was a very good day.  Sad? yes.  But typically, this room is so full of clothes that I have to smell them to see what ones are clean and what ones are dirty.  Oh, like you’ve never done that?

This is the entry way to the basement from the outside, where we have our cats litter box.  And I’ll just say it: We call it The Cat-Shit-Room.  I could try to pretty it up.  But, there really is no other name for a room where we house our kitty-litter.   I hate this room.  Clearly.  How can one like a room called The Cat-Shit-Room?  And I don’t know how I can fix this room to make me like it unless my cats started to poop gold nuggets.    And try as I might, I have been unable to find something that will enable them to do that on E-bay.

And this…this is “the door”.  I love this door.  I think it’s mysterious.  It’s always locked and one might think there’s a torture chamber inside.  In fact, it’s a sauna.

Our home was previously owned by Norwegians and they like to sweat.  We used it once I think; maybe twice, and after both times we had to go to a loan shark to pay the power bill.  Since then we’ve used it for storage.  How lame, but on the upside, we got to keep our fingers.

When I take people around the house and I show them the sauna you can just see the look of disappointment on their face. As if to say, “You mean to tell me that you have a sauna and I could be in it relaxing but instead I’m looking at your half finished craft projects?”

So, I decided to do something about it, I’m just not sure what.  But here are my options:

An organized craft closet.  The Pro- I’ll have a place where I’ll house all of my supplies, my two sewing machines, material and stuff like that.  The Con- Having a room isn’t going to actually get the crafts completed.  I know!

A wine cellar- How cool would it be to have a wine cellar?!  I could make wine, like when DAvid and I were dating.  We always had a carboy of wine going, and I was always drunk.  The Con- I suppose that is also a con.

A canning room- It would be a perfect cold, dry place for all the tomatoes, pickles and peaches I can.  The Con- I don’t actually know how to can.  I suppose I could learn… or more realistically, I could buy already canned stuff.

Keep it as a sauna-  The Pro- It could be considered an asset to the value of the house, and it would be nice to use it.  The Con- I  would have to get a second job to pay the electricity, and I’d have to get all kinds of shinny robes and expensive oils, just like Jerry Seinfield on the Threesome episode.

So, help a sister out, internet… what should I do with the room behind the cool door?

So, this Saturday, I will be living out a lifelong dream.  I will be appearing on the Food Network.  Everybody scream!!!

A few months ago, I was contacted by a production company about appearing in some…sort of  infomercial type things.  They needed a mom and her two kids for b-roll clips.  I didn’t know much about it, but I knew it would be something fun and different, and we had nothing to lose.

The kids were excited to get the day off, and I was excited because I love to see exciting things come together.  Plus, I’d be getting my make-up done by a professional and she wouldn’t be expecting me to buy anything like they do in the MAC Store.  Score!

On the way there I explained to the kids, that they’d have to pretend to be sick, and they were all, no problem mom, we’re gonna ace this! Then Evan asked me why we were doing this.  During the drive, I took the opportunity to explained to him what I so desperately want him to do in life.

“Evan”, I said.  ”When someone presents you with an opportunity,  you should take it.  Even if you don’t see an immediate pay off, the experience alone is pay off enough.  When are we ever going to be able to do something like this?  Be in a production where we’ll be on TV?  Working with a production team?  Getting hair and make-up done?  It might not be a big deal, but it doesn’t matter.  Seize every opportunity, no matter how small.  That’s why we’re doing this today.”

“Plus we get out of school, right mamma?” Colin pipped up.  I knew he’d get it.

All I knew was the shoots were all health related.  My hope was that it wasn’t about Erectile Dysfunction or Hemorrhoids.  You know, small towns.

I got some medications as a Thank you, and they have come in very handy; Graval, AccuDial, and RestoraLax (ahum- you all know how I feel about fiber- I digress).  So if anyone has a sick kid, call me.  I can hook you up, and with AcuDials revolutionary measuring system, I won’t overdose your child!

See, I’m a natural.  But I have to tell you, it really is cool!

So, while I’m not on the Food Network making my Southwestern Sausage Stew, like in my actual dream, if it’s all the same to you, I’m still going to check if off my bucket list.

If you miss it, you can watch the spots, here , here, here, and here.

Thanks to all the fine folks at CEG.  What FUN!

My kids are always asking me for stuff, and when they do, I have a standard line.  It goes like this:  In the words of Mick Jagger, ‘You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need.’

I’ve said this a lot over the years, and now, I don’t even get past  ’In the words of’ before they roll their eyes and say, ‘ohh, forget it.’

But remember awhile back, I wrote about how Colin wanted a dog for Chrismtas, and left us notes and pictures and begged and pleaded?  Well despite the fact that I repeated my standard saying,   it worked for him.

If you can remember,  he got his dog.  And he learned how to get what he wants.

And now, I’ll give you three guesses as to what he wants to do.

But I suspect you’ll only need one.

Lord help me.

Twenty-eight years ago, I entered Bridgewater Elementary school for the first time.  I was in grade two and I sat at the ‘new kid’ table.  There were two other kids at that table.  For the life of me I can’t remember who the third kid was, but the other was a boy named Craig Cooper.  He had a brother, Rob, who was the same age as my older sister, Deanna.  I suspect they sat at the same new kids table in grade five.

Craig and I grew up together.   He was athletic, very smart, liked by everyone, and very good-looking.  We both played sports.  We hung out in the same group.  Craig was as dedicated to school as he was sports and to his friends.  He had a lovely family and an adorable little sister, Lindsay.  He was one of the good guys and he and his brother were very much alike.

Then my parents moved to Aberndale, and I was forced to leave Bridgewater High School and all of my friends to go to Hebbville.  I went kicking and screaming, but I met a new group of friends, friends who I’m still friends with today.  Friends who I’m pretty sure saved my life.  But there were times that I felt like a stranger.

Then onto Park View I went.

The first day of high school, I nervously joined the other grade ten’s in the cafeteria.  I recognized the group from Hebbville, a few familiar faces from Center, a few from New Germany, and then, there in a sea of strangers, there I saw my old friend, Craig Cooper.

He transfered to Park View for it’s IB program.  Yes, Craig was one of those students.  But he was also great at basketball and soccer.  Just like in Bridgewater High school, he was liked by everyone, and we shared a few of the same friends.

I loved having Craig at Park View.  I felt like we were both from the same hood, spoke the same ghetto language.  Having Craig at my school again felt comfortable; like a broken-in-pair of shoes, you don’t wear them everyday, but when you do, you’re glad they’re there.

I’m telling you this story about my old friend Craig, because a while back, my sister and I were talking about our kids.  We were talking about what they’ll be like when they get older.  We said how Ryan and Colin are hilarious and fun, and how they’ll be the life of the party.  We said how Evan is smart, athletic and has such a nice disposition.  Deanna said, “You remember Rob and Craig Cooper?  I think he’ll be like them.”  And I thought that was the ultimate compliment.

Then today after work, I watched Evan play Basketball, in, of all places, Hebbville.  I saw him interacting with his fellow teammates, giving high fives and pats on the back.   Then on the way home I peered in my rear-view mirror at Evan with his shirt and tie on, his handsome grin, as he looked out the window and said proudly, “I love my team.”

I thought, Yep, that’s something Craig would have said.