The Shirt Dilemma
We were invited to a few holiday shindigs so I thought I needed a new something fabulous. I was thinking a fun sparkly top. David calls them boob shirts. I tried on a cagillion shirts (my spell-check is telling me that “cagillion” is not a word but for effect, you get what I mean).
Now, I loved being pregnant. In fact, when I was 3 months pregnant, I didn’t look pregnant fast enough. And only a year after having my first son, I did it all over again. I enjoyed being pregnant the second time just as much (truthfully a little less, but Colin will never know this). But now that I am not pregnant, and short of a miracle or an affair, will never ever be pregnant again, I really don’t want to look pregnant. So, what is up with these shirts that look like maternity shirts? I have to say, I have seen them on people, and they are adorable. I think, “so cute. I need to get a shirt like that.” But I’m short, and they are not cute on me. They just make me look pregnant.
It was a challenge to find a shirt that was fun and trendy and not maternity looking, but I did find something. So then I had to spend the entire night sucking in thinking, I wish I could wear those maternity shirts. Then maybe I could eat something and people wouldn’t think that I’m fat. They’d just wonder how I got pregnant.
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December 27th, 2007 at 2:00 pm
Hi Tina,
I need clarification for the term “boob shirt” please! Would a boob shirt be called that in reference to the wearers personality traits (a boob) or would it be in reference to a measure for their personal attributes (or lack of)? Or both? Either way, I came to work today not prepared for the big belly laugh you’ve just handed me. I’ve had a “bazillion” thanks to you. A big belly laugh is one that comes directly and uncontrollably from somewhere way deep within, and by the way regardless of the size of the belly. In fact, could it not be said that everyone deserves to have a big belly laugh once in a while but there are those who perhaps should never wear a boob shirt?
Ever!
December 27th, 2007 at 7:05 pm
Good point! Boob can be said in many terms. Usually when we go out and have a few libations to toast the season, I can have a bit too much cheer, and act like a boob.
It just isn’t Christmas until I’ve been a boob.
December 27th, 2007 at 7:09 pm
And yes, j, to clarify, some should not wear a boob shirt. I always say, if you have a rose on your boob, and others can see it, you need a less revealing boob shirt.
True, yes?
December 29th, 2007 at 11:41 am
Thank you Tina for clarifying but this opens up another whole kettle of fish for me. Please let me apologize if I offend you or any of your readers with my opinion, but I cannot resist. It continues to amaze me why anyone would ever even consider displaying the “rose thing” on their endowment or any other part of their anatomy. I have been the viewer of many such “rose things” and the first thought that pops in my head is what a waste of a perfectly good body part that is. For me it raises the same emotion I would have upon seeing graffiti spray painted on the wall of the Sistine Chapel or seeing “I was here” scribbled across the smile of the Mona Lisa. It just doesn’t belong there. Fads come and go and from my perspective I wish this one would go soon before this entire generation is defaced with graffiti. In order the express their uniqueness they have all become the same. Am I a boob for thinking this way? Perhaps yes, however you can be sure that the next time I put on my boob shirt you will not be seeing my rose.
December 31st, 2007 at 5:05 pm
Hi Tina,
It was funny reading your story because I was Christmas shopping for a new shirt for my wife a little while ago (o.k. 2 days before Christmas:). I always like to buy her a “boob” shirt for Christmas. However, all I could find was these “pregnancy shirts”. I had never noticed them before but that’s all every store seemed to have. Anyway I thought it was interesting to see I am not the only one who doesn’t get this new fashion.
January 2nd, 2008 at 3:15 pm
Yes Wayne,
I do agree. Not all women like this new fad.
You did great with the classic black blouse by the way!
Thanks, Tina